Can we get a thread for the superior forest type?

Tired of these fucking queers on /out/ talking about deciduous forests like they don't absolutely suck dick.

Anyways post your best coniferous forest story. Ill go first.

>Be me
>15
>inna woods on summer camp, backpacking in northern Alberta in the mountains.
>Make it to one of our destinations at a lake in the mountains
>beautiful place, lots of PINE TREES and the water feels great
>goofing around and setting up camp, find a piece of rebar that is 6' feet long with a bend at the end, kind of like a shepherds crook
>idea
>hide it from the councilors and continue with the rest of my day
>darkness falls
>while the adults' are distracted, hatch my evil plan
>change into cloths I brought incase it was cold, black hood, black sweatpants, and a winter cap for sleeping in
>grab the rebar and shimmy up a really big ass tree near the girls tents
>The camp provided these big ass tents that each gender got to share and distribute on the walks, so around this time all the grills are in this tent changing for fire time
>Only thing between me and them is the rain tarp
>Girls are all autistic and don't know how to properly secure the trap
>reach rebar down and lift up the tarp
>Prime view of the action
>searing the image into my memory
>obvious stop paying attention, when boom, I slip and fall from the tree
>I was like 8 feet above the ground, landed on my chest and brought down the rebar with me
>land with out loud thump on the way down
>girls are all screaming
>hear the councilors rushing over
>shit my pants
>grab the rebar and bolt

Cont.