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>brother serves in the FFL
>sent to French Guiana
>country where spiders are so big they hunt birds, crocs bite your dick off if you take a longer piss near any body of water and where big cats hunt locals like it's a sport for them
>everyone is most afraid of sneks however
>small poisonous ones everywhere, often like to comfy up in your boots
>big ones just hanging around on trees, being literally invisible or look like a perfectly fine branch
>first thing instructor tells them during introduction jungle course is when (not if) something bites them, they need to kill it and bring it back
>realize how comfy I am in the Eastern Europe
