>never gone on a hike my entire life
>not even a walk in the park
>spend 2k on hiking and mountaineering gear

In my defense I have a couple mountaineering courses coming up, and worst case scenario I end up pulling an Into The Wild since I'm already suicidal and my whole life I've been sheltered and over protected by my parents so I never got to see the world, or socialize like the average person, and this is something I've always wanted to do.