>>2495265I have agoraphobia. Can't force myself to go out like I used to just a month ago, when I had energy and will to run 1400m uphill, swim, cycle, explore river valleys. Every time I think of going out there's some inner block, that says it's pointless, tiring, time consuming, uninteresting, it's cloudy, rain's gonna start, going to the route start will take it forever, there's nothing new to see, trees, dirt, sweat, dust, cars, ppl, I've been there hundred times, it's cold and uncomfy outside, etc, etc, I'd rather stay home, lay in bed, eat, drink, kill time, it's much better than going out. Used to do stuff in the yard at home, some repairs, planting trees, etc, now only leave home when it's dark just to buy some groceries, don't my neighbors or anyone to see me, don't reply any calls, messages, smoke tons of cigarettes, and procrastinate. Even if I'll force myself to go out it'll be just one time and will have no use anyway, it wont break the habit of staying home, it'll cause more harm actually, leaving the ''bubble'', feeling stressed because of being seen by ppl, some of which might be former mates, friends, not even important if they know me, just random people when they see me riding a bike will think and say different stuff, coz most of them drive fancy cars, have families and kids, and it's not cool not to be like them.
