Kill hikers that say "almost there". Behead hikers that say "almost there". Roundhouse kick a hiker that says "almost there". Slam dunk the kid they took with them into the trashcan at the trailhead. Crucify hikers that say "almost there". Piss in their camelbak. Launch hikers that say "almost there" into the sun. Throw hikers that say "almost there" off the top of a sequoia. Toss hikers that say "almost there" into active volcanoes. Judo throw hikers that say "almost there" in front of a grizzly. Report hikers that say "almost there" for not having a park pass. Use an axe to chop hikers that say "almost there" in half. Curb stomp pregnant hikers that say "almost there". Throw rattlesnakes at hikers that say "almost there". Crush hikers that say "almost there" in the trash compactor. Liquefy hikers that say "almost there" in a vat of acid and express mail the acid to REI. Eat hikers that say "almost there" instead of peanut butter. Dissect hikers that say "almost there" and throw the body parts one-by-one off a Boeing 727 over southwest Washington. Force hikers that say "almost there" to scrub park toilets. Stomp hikers that say "almost there" with steel toed boots. Cremate hikers that say "almost there" and throw the ashes in a geyser. Lobotomize hikers that say "almost there". Mandatory abortions for hikers that say "almost there". Drown hikers that say "almost there" at the bottom of the rapids. Use the corpses of hikers that say "almost there" to hump a deer. Feed them to alligators. Pet cute dogs attached to a chain and hope they don't rush you.
