>>2754473God, my most recent ex was the fucking worst about being outside. She has some dumbass new age spiritual thing where she felt like the trees had spirits or some shit, but she was an absolute homebody, and couldn't stand an ounce of discomfort. She was raised by her obese mother, and as a result, didn't understand the concept of cardio. I swear to God, once I took her hiking and actually got her to keep a good enough clip w/o stopping every minute to rest for five, and we were able to raise our heart rates up a bit, and she thought she was dying and started freaking out. I grabbed her hand, and put it on my neck so she could feel my pulse, and she said "OMG you too?!?! Should we call 911?"
I offered to buy her some better clothes for hiking, and she eventually let me buy her some shirts, but she flat out insisted that she knew better, and that jeans were the optimal choice for her. To be fair, I used to do the same shit when I was a teenager, but we were in our late 20s/early 30s here. In fact, the teenager comparison was pretty apt; I would try to take her someplace beautiful, and she's just mope.
Fucking glad to be free of her. I really heckin' appreciate my girlfriend now. She's a fucking joy to go hiking or camping with. Last time we went out, we found a nice spot miles away from anyone else, she cooked me a fucking steak over a campfire, and we shot beer cans with our BB guns. She da best.
