/out/ - Outdoors » Thread #463439

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Toilet paper substitutes

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 03:29:31 No.463439 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>463450 >>463456 >>463517 >>463518 >>463519 >>463815 >>464138 >>464193

Hey guys,

I'm going camping tomorrow and don't feel like bringing toilet paper. I'm just wonder what you guys have used as toilet paper substitutes in the outdoors. I know you can use snow, old mans beard, wooly lambs ear or twigs. Any other natural toilet paper out there?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 03:44:04 No.463445 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

Snow is the best. Pack up a snowball real tight, better than toilet paper.

Next I prefer a smooth rock. Get one you can snugly fit into your butt. A stick with a good girth can be nice too.

After that, anything works but dont expect to enjoy it. Just don't use anything alive!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 03:54:16 No.463450 Report

Quoted By: >>463470 >>463511 >>463753 >>463815

>>463439

Just trap animals and use those to wipe. Release them afterwards.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 03:54:58 No.463451 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

This time of year it may depend on where you are, but I really like those nice big leafy green leaves that have kind if a waxy feel to them.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 04:01:15 No.463456 Report

Quoted By:

>>463439
If you can't find a smooth rock, which is never, you can always use a seashell...or three.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 04:34:26 No.463470 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

>>463450
D:

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO TP-ChartCOLOR.jpg, 98KiB, 630x644

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 06:14:27 No.463503 Report

Quoted By: >>463519 >>463815

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 06:21:32 No.463505 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

Tennis balls

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 6KiB, 194x259

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 06:29:23 No.463509 Report

Quoted By:

What I do is as I'm squatting, I reach under and put my fingers as close to my asshole as possible and pull apart, then push upwards. This causes my anus to push when I make the poops. When I'm done I pull my anus back apart and it retreats back up inside. I never need to wipe my butthole when I do this.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 6KiB, 194x259

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 06:31:18 No.463510 Report

Quoted By: >>463595 >>463758 >>463815

What I do is as I'm squatting, I reach under and put my fingers as close to my asshole as possible and pull apart, then push upwards. This causes my anus to push down and outward when I make the poops. When I'm done I pull my anus back apart and it retreats back up inside. I never need to wipe my butthole when I do this.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 06:56:56 No.463511 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

>>463450
This. Chipmunks are godtier

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO obama-air-horn-ap.jpg, 61KiB, 640x480

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 07:08:05 No.463517 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

>>463439
The constitution.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 07:09:51 No.463518 Report

Quoted By: >>463535 >>463601 >>463609 >>463815

>>463439
Forget whiping OP. Any stream, creek or river will work as long as you can submerge your anus.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO notPoisonIvy.jpg, 303KiB, 1024x768

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 07:12:10 No.463519 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

>>463439
why do you need toilet paper why not just poo into rivers shit safely floats away and you butt gets liked clean by the water.

but humor aside >>463503 ist pretty aqurate. but i would rank/include grass /tree leaves higher big stuff like pic related

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 07:48:29 No.463534 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

Smooth rock or smooth stick are the best if no snow.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 07:55:19 No.463535 Report

Quoted By: >>463549 >>463551 >>463815

>>463518
Stop this

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 08:45:50 No.463549 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

>>463535
?

It's objectively the cleanest, most hygienic and natural way of reliving yourself while /out/

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 08:49:52 No.463551 Report

Quoted By: >>463599 >>463601 >>463654 >>463815

>>463535
> implying 1 turd will contaminate an entire river.

It's 2015. They're doing fecal transplants now. Get with the times. A little poo innastream won't hurt anything.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 13:11:55 No.463595 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

>>463510
Interesting, I'm going to try this. It seems to make sense.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 13:18:51 No.463599 Report

Quoted By: >>463610 >>463815

>>463551
A lot of viruses and parasites are transmitted through your shit. One nasty dump and you could transplant a shitton of parasite eggs and then contaminate a huge area of water. Rivers flow into larger water sources.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 13:23:02 No.463601 Report

Quoted By: >>463610 >>463815

>>463518
>>463551
And then suddenly everyone does it, and it becomes an actual problem. The difference between having nothing to worry about, and diseases running rampant in water is just that - numbers. Hope you enjoy drinking shit-infested water.

Don't shit in or near water. Period.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 13:52:01 No.463609 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

>>463518

but anon

you're not even funny

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 13:53:01 No.463610 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

>>463601
>>463599

>getting taken in by this weak-ass trolling

it's his fault, but you are enablers

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 16:25:13 No.463654 Report

Quoted By: >>463709 >>463815

>>463551
> be hiking
> refill water bottles from stream
> get horribly sick because some fuckwit shit in the water supply upstream of me

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 18:23:07 No.463709 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

>>463654
>be hiking
> refill water bottles from stream
> get horribly sick because some fuckwit shit in the water supply upstream of me
> remember that I did nothing to treat the water before drinking it
> I blame myself

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 19:28:31 No.463753 Report

Quoted By: >>463815 >>464115

>>463450
"mr. rabbit, Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 19:33:54 No.463758 Report

Quoted By: >>463815

>>463510
you just described a prolapsed anus. see a doctor.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 3 seashells.jpg, 61KiB, 1200x784

Anonymous Sat 14 Feb 2015 21:20:29 No.463815 Report

Quoted By:

>>463439
>>463445
>>463450
>>463451
>>463470
>>463503
>>463505
>>463510
>>463511
>>463517
>>463518
>>463519
>>463534
>>463535
>>463549
>>463551
>>463595
>>463599
>>463601
>>463601
>>463609
>>463610
>>463654
>>463709
>>463753
>>463758
they don't know how to use the three seashells!

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO spurdo_sparde_vector_by_kevinino (...).png, 117KiB, 1024x749

Anonymous Sun 15 Feb 2015 09:01:20 No.464115 Report

Quoted By:

>>463753

fugg :DDDD

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1396923888128.jpg, 70KiB, 530x530

Anonymous Sun 15 Feb 2015 10:06:36 No.464138 Report

Quoted By:

>>463439
>not using pinecones

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 15 Feb 2015 18:04:45 No.464193 Report

Quoted By:

>>463439
A quick pre-dump smearing of vaseline round your hole helps with the wiping, whatever you use.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO image.jpg, 1MiB, 2448x2448

Anonymous Tue 17 Feb 2015 01:24:53 No.465199 Report

Quoted By:

This is a full roll of toilet paper, I took out the cardboard and vacuum sealed it. It's compressed until I open it. Why don't you just use really toilet paper?

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