I posted this in /g but im putting it here to because I'm sure a few of you have used solar at some point and know more than i do about getting started

Ok im here to try and find suggestions on how i can get my dream life started

A lil background
I have been working off and on since i was around 12 or 13 in a big city
I moved to a smaller town with my mom at 18 to help her because life was spiralling downhill fast where we lived so we picked up and left with nothing but a van full of what we could carry
We got jobs and found a place to live. The culture shock hit me hard paired withlosing my job and not being able to get hired anywhere for 3 years (during the height of the recession )
I spent a couple weeks in a mental facility

When i got out i met a beautiful and wonderful woman who over the past few years has helped me get my self together we also just had a son added to the two she has from previous relationships
I now have a job but the hours are long when i get home most times i have maybe 30 minutes to hold my newborn and kiss my fiance than i have to go to sleep for the next day and the pay fluctuates drastically with checks as low as 100 a week to near 1000 but they are much closer to the former
And there is so much more but ive bored you enough

Well ive done a lot of looking for grants and loans to try and get a couple solar panels so i can try and set up a small solar farm nothing extravagant right now but just enough so my fiance wouldnt have to stress so much and i could hold my child a lil longer but i dont have any credit so loans are out of the question for me and alot of grants cover up to 25 percent of your upfront cost and our bank account is in no shape to take a hit like that. is there a way i can fulfill this dream that i am just not seeing?