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Woman survives off own breast milk

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 17:15:50 No.513226 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>513230 >>513244 >>513254 >>513260 >>513305 >>513701 >>514035 >>515719 >>515732

http://pastebin.com/bKYDmMr5

Totally thought this was going to be a story of a woman stuck in an area with no other food resources for a couple of weeks.
Nope, she was two miles off the trail for a day and says she [survived a night in Bushlands by covering herself in dirt and drinking her own breast milk]

This is the most pathetic thing I've read all week.

The fuck did covering herself in dirt do?

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO dirt+piss.jpg, 246KiB, 1024x768

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 17:18:04 No.513230 Report

Quoted By:

>>513226
fake.

at she didn't drink her piss.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 17:21:16 No.513232 Report

Quoted By:

fake.

she didn't drank her piss

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 17:40:53 No.513244 Report

Quoted By:

>>513226
That's the hottest thing i have ever read on /out/.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 17:53:22 No.513254 Report

Quoted By:

>>513226
I survived 3 hours without any Redbull once while stuck in line at a concert. I ended up drinking some nasty Sobe instead once I the line started to go past a to a vending machine. I blogged about it and have over 4,530 likes so far.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 18:05:09 No.513260 Report

Quoted By: >>513324

>>513226
>The fuck did covering herself in dirt do?
Sun screen? idk tbh

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 19:25:09 No.513305 Report

Quoted By:

>>513226
It was nighttime so she obviously needed to sleep, and the only logical solution to a lack of blankets is to cover herself in dirt while sipping on her tits.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 20:07:12 No.513324 Report

Quoted By:

>>513260
Yeah, probably, or mosquito repellent. That's what it may USUALLY be used for.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 21:27:31 No.513361 Report

Quoted By: >>513388 >>513401

>breast milk
>comes from your own energy reserves
>is not 100% efficient, hence more calories go into making milk than you get from it
>every time you milk yourself you're reducing your own calorie reserves
>this bitch: where does milk come from, how do I create energy from nothing? hurr durr nobel prize pls

>"got stuck in some bushes"

How the fuck did she get "stuck"? What does that even mean? Did she wedge herself between two trees and was too fat to get back out? Was she afraid to rip her Macy's workout shirt and Lululemon yoga pants? How the fuck to you lose a damned trail that is not only wide enough to run on, but has other runners before and after you parading down it? Why would you walk into a patch of brush so thick you could get "stuck" in it?

>bitch enters race
>gonna lose race because fat
>concocts story
>sulks in brushland eating secret pastry stash from bra all night
>is "found" in morning
>???
>what a hero, how inspiring, book a talk show!

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 22:01:47 No.513388 Report

Quoted By: >>513393 >>513401

>>513361
>Up next on the Oprah Winfrey Show, a harrowing tale of survival and inner strength. One woman's struggle to survive on her own, abandoned by her husband and alone against the wilderness.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 22:08:10 No.513393 Report

Quoted By: >>513399 >>513401

>>513388
>i kept yelling for todd,but he never came for me! after about 15 minutes i said to my self. ...Becky, your just gonna have to cover yourself in your own poo and suck your tits. I just keep thinking"what would bear do, " ya know.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 22:22:38 No.513399 Report

Quoted By: >>513401

>>513393

>MMMMHMMMM you know it girl
>gotta look out for yourself, strong wimminz ain't need no man
>yeah sister
>MMMHMMMM MHHHMMMMMM
>*neck shaking, finger wagging*
>but how did you survive without Ben and Jerry's for an entire DAY?
>I am on disability for my PTSD from this traumatic experience.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 22:25:31 No.513401 Report

Quoted By: >>513404 >>513408 >>513422 >>515683

>>513361
>>513388
>>513393
>>513399

>>>/pol/ is that way

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 22:29:10 No.513404 Report

Quoted By: >>515677

>>513401
>breast milk drinker and dirt blanket user detected

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 22:38:53 No.513408 Report

Quoted By: >>513411 >>513417 >>513436 >>515678

>>513401
Nope.I'm like an orange peel. Ill be here forever.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1430703274373.jpg, 67KiB, 500x327

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 22:51:32 No.513411 Report

Quoted By:

>>513408

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 23:02:12 No.513417 Report

Quoted By:

>>513408
Best thing I've read all day.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 23:13:47 No.513422 Report

Quoted By: >>513701 >>515677

>>513401
>this poster drinks their own breast milk

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 11 May 2015 23:51:22 No.513436 Report

Quoted By:

>>513408
/out/ must be a sunny dry place

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 12 May 2015 09:20:17 No.513701 Report

Quoted By: >>513759 >>513883

>>513422
>their own breast milk
>their own
>implying a man could drink his own breastmilk
I find that strange, to say the least. Can a man have breastmilk?

Also
>>513226
What the fuck is wrong with her? For 24 hours stuck in the bush, she could've just made some shelter, even lay on some sticks, sleep and go home in the morning. She wasn't gone for hundreds of miles, it was a survival situation, but not a SURVIVAL SITUATION!

Good thinking about the mud though. If I got this bitch-lost, I'd probably use mud too. But I'd hide for at least three days drinking my own piss, because 24 hours is for pussies.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 12 May 2015 11:28:06 No.513759 Report

Quoted By: >>513781

>>513701
Yes, some men have been known to lactate

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1418889683884.png, 478KiB, 600x401

Anonymous Tue 12 May 2015 12:39:22 No.513781 Report

Quoted By:

>>513759
Fuck me gently, then.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 12 May 2015 16:49:32 No.513883 Report

Quoted By:

>>513701
It wasn't a survival situation, it was accidential camping. She spent the night in the woods.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 12 May 2015 21:16:08 No.514035 Report

Quoted By: >>514116 >>514120

>>513226
>24 hours
>breast milk for energy

oh for fuck's sake shit like this pisses me off. How is this even "news" except for the fact of trying to figure out how she drank her own breast milk.

People are fucking insane. "OH MY GOD! She survived for 24 hours WITHOUT FOOD!" No wonder America is so fucking obese. When I go out for hikes I don't eve bother packing food unless I'll be packing out for three nights.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 12 May 2015 23:34:13 No.514116 Report

Quoted By:

>>514035
It was in New Zealand.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 12 May 2015 23:43:00 No.514120 Report

Quoted By: >>514127

>>514035
You seem like a fun guy.
>"hey Steve, you wanna go on a hike? "
>hell yeah, I'm not American. .ofcourse i do fucker.
>"uh...ok well just bring your own snacks and water. We will pick you up since your wife left you and took the car and all your money."
>uhm...i have money. ..Fuck you. ..im not American! ..i just dont need food for 24 hours while we're outside. .i..i..i can afford it. ..i just dont need it

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 12 May 2015 23:52:27 No.514127 Report

Quoted By:

>>514120
>seizure on the keyboard

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1426653940114.jpg, 10KiB, 221x225

Anonymous Fri 15 May 2015 05:27:57 No.515677 Report

Quoted By:

>>513404
>>513422
>Not drinking their own milk

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 15 May 2015 05:29:10 No.515678 Report

Quoted By:

>>513408
I didn't fully appreciate this the first time I read it.

Dank meme bro.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 15 May 2015 05:30:33 No.515683 Report

Quoted By:

>>513401
I had no idea that /pol/ liked breast milk so much.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 15 May 2015 05:36:10 No.515686 Report

Quoted By:

> not taking dirt naps

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 15 May 2015 06:43:58 No.515719 Report

Quoted By:

>>513226
>missing 24 hours

That's not even enough time to die of dehydration ffs.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 15 May 2015 07:05:09 No.515732 Report

Quoted By: >>515734

>>513226
I'm a kiwi, this was headline news.

This chick was fucking retarded, for fuck's sake.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 15 May 2015 07:07:37 No.515734 Report

Quoted By:

>>515732
"Oh no, I've been stuck out here for a night. Better suck my own titties to survive!"

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