>>53794I got into a standoff with a goose once, too. Was out hiking in the interior of Mallorca, going down country lanes and across farms and shit, and this territorial ass goose came out of nowhere and charged me and hissed.
You can think you're all tough and alpha, but geese are mean fuckers. Stare one down while it charges and hisses and you'll get a jolt of adrenaline, too. I found a nearby vegetable stake and kept bluff-charging the goose, yelling and banging the stake on the ground in front of it. (I was afraid a farmer would come out cursing me in Catalan just as I swung for his prize goose's head.)
We repeated this song and dance for a good couple of minutes, I periodically gaining a bit of ground and saving up ferocity for a final charge, then yielding to the bird without taking my eyes off of it.
Finally I realized I couldn't stand around sparring with a goose all day. I had to get back to my friends at the beach hotel. So I raised the stake high in my right arm and charged the fucker head on, just kept coming for it and when I got in range I was going to knock that goose's head right the fuck off.
It must have sensed my seriousness, and it finally turned and fled, hissing, and I continued on down the dusty farm path, slowly calming back down from the adrenaline rush. I didn't know whether I should feel proud or embarrassed. Now I know why they call them goosebumps.
Geese are mean fuckers. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
