/out/ - Outdoors » Thread #618098

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Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 20:54:12 No.618098 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>618099 >>619110 >>619118 >>619127 >>619270 >>620487

Alright guys, let's get it /out/ there.
Proper pooping procedures... Are there any proper pooping procedures?
Pic related, had been constipated for a few days, /out/ hiking and it hit me.
Just cut up my boxer briefs, wiped and continued.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO crop.gif, 5KiB, 228x417

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 20:55:02 No.618099 Report

Quoted By: >>618103 >>618200

>>618098
i just twist and fling tbh

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 20:56:57 No.618101 Report

Quoted By:

make sure you're in a designated shitting street.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 20:57:10 No.618102 Report

Quoted By: >>618106

If poo like that came out of my dog , I would rush him to the vet.
You are not well anon.
Not well at all.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 20:57:22 No.618103 Report

Quoted By:

>>618099
Good man. I'll try that sometime.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 20:58:36 No.618105 Report

Quoted By: >>618109 >>618250 >>619222 >>619490

>2015 not finding a geocache.
Its like you are some sort of animal.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 20:59:05 No.618106 Report

Quoted By: >>619308

>>618102
I know, I had been constipated. Just pooped for the first time this morning after a few days. Which up until this point I had some very nice poopies.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 21:00:37 No.618109 Report

Quoted By:

>>618105
I'll be sure to geocache my shit for the next person.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 21:12:58 No.618125 Report

Quoted By: >>618130

The main thing is that you always shit and piss on the trail, that way you won't disturb the plants and animals off trail. Then you bag it up and leave the bag on the trail for some goody two shoes to pack it out for you. You go home feeling good that you did your part to make someone feel useful

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 21:16:50 No.618130 Report

Quoted By:

>>618125
>Then you bag it up and leave the bag on the trail for some goody two shoes to pack it out for you. You go home feeling good that you did your part to make someone feel useful
Leave it to me to fuck it all up.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 21:26:50 No.618144 Report

Quoted By:

It's really fucking simple.
>Grab leaves or tp
>pull down pants
>shit
>wipe
>optional: cover your shit with ground or leaves

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 21:39:18 No.618162 Report

Quoted By: >>618244 >>618247

I always poop on the narrow trail to my favorite fishing hole.
I do it so anyone coming will step in it.
This trains the fly faggots to stay away from my hole.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 22:29:50 No.618200 Report

Quoted By: >>618264

>>618099
did you make this?

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 23:02:26 No.618220 Report

Quoted By:

>not shitting in a geocache

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 23:31:40 No.618244 Report

Quoted By: >>618247

>>618162
Good work anon. I hate fly fishing and fly fishermen in general.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 23:35:26 No.618247 Report

Quoted By: >>618615

>>618244
>I hate fly fishermen in general

why?

>>618162
also dude, most of us wear wading boots, you really think stepping in shit is going to ruin our day? oh wow I just step into the river with my wade boots on and voila your shit is no longer on my boot.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 23:36:44 No.618250 Report

Quoted By:

>>618105
kek

Anonymous

Anonymous Sun 25 Oct 2015 23:53:02 No.618264 Report

Quoted By:

>>618200
of course I did i don't post unoriginal recycled shit

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 14:53:51 No.618615 Report

Quoted By: >>618627

>>618247
So you want to add human feces to the trout stream?
And you wonder why people dislike you?
You might as well just squat down , drop your waders and squeeze out a mud monkey right into the water.
You are a foul creature.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 15:13:54 No.618627 Report

Quoted By: >>618632

>>618615
>So you want to add human feces to the trout stream?

You're fishing there right? Then stream is already polluted with human feces.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 15:17:19 No.618632 Report

Quoted By: >>618634

>>618627
I dont fish since I am vegan.
Please dont clean poo off your shoes inna stream anon. The fish dont want to have to dodge your turds.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 15:17:44 No.618633 Report

Quoted By: >>618643 >>620344

The advice in this thread is just like OP's shit.

Not solid.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 15:18:45 No.618634 Report

Quoted By:

>>618632
>I am vegan.
Human feces confirmed

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 26 Oct 2015 15:42:56 No.618643 Report

Quoted By:

>>618633
This is a grade A post

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 05:05:57 No.619110 Report

Quoted By:

>>618098
Looking at this pic and my dog farted, a nasty putrid dog fart that smells a little like fish.

I almost threw up.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 05:24:01 No.619118 Report

Quoted By:

>>618098
Dude either bury it or at least kick some dirt over it!

Also learn to take some toilet paper with you when you hike.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 05:47:32 No.619127 Report

Quoted By: >>619268

>>618098

The important thing is to remember /out/ pooping etiquette.

Myself, I bring a modest compressed air cannon made from PVC pipe which I use to launch my turds the fuck away from the campsite. Just blast 'em right the fuck outta there. I don't see where it goes so it's taken care of. The sky takes it? I guess? Nature has ways of handling whatever. Not my problem

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 06:03:57 No.619129 Report

Quoted By: >>619273 >>619397

Just climb up a tree and shit on a branch.
You don't have to dig a hole, but your turds don't disturb anyone else and are safely out of reach/sight.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 13:43:19 No.619222 Report

Quoted By:

>>618105
Underrated

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 14:00:34 No.619228 Report

Quoted By:

you guys are all animals.

http://www.qiwiz.net/trowels.html

bury your poop please.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 15:16:12 No.619251 Report

Quoted By: >>619253

I usually have to find a fallen branch to sit onto, I cant do it crouching having the fear I will shit all over my pants and ankles. It's quite the feeling to sit half naked in the woods taking a dump.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 15:21:32 No.619253 Report

Quoted By: >>619254

>>619251
Take your pants off to poop you degenerate.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 15:24:35 No.619254 Report

Quoted By: >>619255

>>619253
I'm a milfag and usually I cannot do that. I dont want to get shot at without my pants off.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 15:31:03 No.619255 Report

Quoted By:

>>619254
Would you rather get shot with shitty pants down around your ankles?
At least with no pants you can run like the wind.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 16:01:28 No.619268 Report

Quoted By:

>>619127

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 16:02:52 No.619270 Report

Quoted By:

>>618098
>Are there any proper pooping procedures?
Pull pants down to knees.
Wall sit against tree on uphill side.
Shit/Wipe/Cover your shit.

Optional-Dig hole beforehand depending on how bad you've gotta go.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 16:03:32 No.619273 Report

Quoted By: >>619375

>>619129
Requesting diagram of said principle.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 17:14:29 No.619307 Report

Quoted By:

My mate had a curry once and he had a shit in a bush and it stank like a fucker but it looked like a curry that had the sauce and then thr meat, altogether a fucking mustard colour.. Man when you gotta go you gotta go lol

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 17:15:10 No.619308 Report

Quoted By:

>>618106
>ONLY MAKE GOOD POOPIES OR SAY HELLO TO MR SORRY STICK!

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 18:49:31 No.619375 Report

Quoted By: >>619388

>>619273
Tree shitting is not that difficult of a concept.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 19:08:28 No.619388 Report

Quoted By: >>619401

>>619375
That is the worst instructional diagram ever.
Its like just showing the last page of an IKEA manual.
HOW DO YOU ACTUALLY PERCH ON A BRANCH AND POOP LIKE A BIRD?????
Also , how a nigga goan climb a tree when he gots a turtle head???

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 19:28:04 No.619397 Report

Quoted By:

>>619129
instructions unclear, shit landed on branch below me, am now trapped in tree

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 19:32:34 No.619401 Report

Quoted By: >>620368

>>619388
You firmly grab a branch above with two hands, and pull your knees up to your chest, aim your arse at the thick branch below you, and squeeze one out.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 21:06:00 No.619445 Report

Quoted By: >>619504

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 22:56:43 No.619490 Report

Quoted By:

>>618105
Is this the new shitting in a river meme?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 27 Oct 2015 23:19:30 No.619504 Report

Quoted By: >>619537

>>619445
wtf is wrong with everyones poops.

eat some fucking real food.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 00:18:24 No.619537 Report

Quoted By:

>>619504

This. If it isn't decently solid, you can't launch it.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 28 Oct 2015 05:43:40 No.619704 Report

Quoted By:

im going to hide a geocache in the middle of a stream in the hopes that some anon comes buy and shits in it

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 07:51:38 No.620344 Report

Quoted By:

>>618633
Kek

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 09:10:08 No.620368 Report

Quoted By:

>>619401
If anything ever needed a diagram, it's this

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 14:08:36 No.620455 Report

Quoted By: >>620486 >>620761

What is actually wrong with river shitting?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 15:47:25 No.620486 Report

Quoted By: >>620761

>>620455
literally noithing

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 15:48:26 No.620487 Report

Quoted By: >>620489

>>618098

This is going to attract major heat and people who have never been outside will call troll, but shit in the river. Or the lake, ideally the sea.
Basically wade in a little and squat. Then shit. As long as your ass is underwater you won't need to wipe (how a Victorian water closer works).

Then dry off your legs with fresh air or some fabric if you have it.

Simple as that. Do it downstream of your camp if in a river.

>inb4 troll
>inb4 haters
>inb4 your downstream is someone else's upstream

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 15:50:40 No.620489 Report

Quoted By: >>620507

>>620487
but your downstream is someone else's upstream anon

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 16:33:57 No.620507 Report

Quoted By: >>620510 >>620533 >>620555

>>620489
River is always washing shit downstream. Animal remains too. Ain't nothing wrong with a few turds floating down it, a lone camper is different from a city sewage pipe pumping thousands of turds into it all day long.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 16:38:00 No.620510 Report

Quoted By:

>>620507
just be courteous and bury your fucking shit. it's not up to ONE person to decide what's gross and what isn't. the concensus of society is that logs and knobs of floating human fæces in a river is fucksgusting. conceal your god damned waste.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 17:33:15 No.620533 Report

Quoted By: >>620540

>>620507
if i see you do it im going to drown you

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 17:39:10 No.620540 Report

Quoted By:

>>620533
and then i'll bury him in a cathole like a fece >:D

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 17:55:53 No.620555 Report

Quoted By: >>620573 >>620580 >>620582

>>620507
Except for the fact youre putting Hep A and worse into the damn water that people might drink.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 18:30:53 No.620573 Report

Quoted By:

>>620555
what's the worst that could happen.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 18:38:52 No.620580 Report

Quoted By:

>>620555

>implying all that and more isn't already in the river
>implying the river is some kind of crystal clear ultra pure distilled water stream, and not a contaminated soup flowing across and through the fucking ground
>implying it's not already getting this from hundreds of different kinds of animals, including dead animals and fish
>implying the turd of a lone camper is going to influence the balance in 10,000+ litres of MOVING water

Your attempts to deny river shitting is the best way to shit whilst /out/ are futile.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 18:41:33 No.620582 Report

Quoted By:

>>620555

>implying that anyone smart enough to deserve to live should be drinking straight from ANY river without boiling it and purifying

It's like you want to fail.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 29 Oct 2015 23:41:39 No.620761 Report

Quoted By: >>620779

>>620486
>>620455
>What is actually wrong with river shitting?
Learn to poo in loo Pajeet

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 00:26:53 No.620779 Report

Quoted By: >>620783

>>620761

I don't get it? Are you for or against river shitting?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 00:29:25 No.620780 Report

Quoted By:

I love how rivershidding has become /out/'s skub™

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 00:33:48 No.620783 Report

Quoted By: >>620792 >>620803

>>620779
I am, which is why I shit in geocaches

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 00:43:45 No.620792 Report

Quoted By:

>>620783
>are you for or against
>i am
mkay friendo

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 00:50:37 No.620803 Report

Quoted By: >>620816 >>620817

>>620783
I river shit but wouldn't shit in a geocache, you are fucking with someone's hobby. Be like some faggot donning a scuba tank and weight belt and snipping fishing lines.
River shitting is a natural thing, everyone should be doing it, shitting in a geocache is a dick move though. I can appreciate the comedic value of the idea, but still. Someone went to a lot of time to put a little something there, and someone else may go to trouble to find it. And you wreck it why? Leave no trace? It's literally designed to be packed out as its final destination.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 01:03:25 No.620815 Report

Quoted By:

i once read this old interview with an ancient swedish lumberjack on their winter shitting traditions. wish i could find it, but it went about something as:

>time2shit
>grab two sticks
>about thickness of thumb
>trusty mora
>round the end of one stick
>make a hand-sized flat edge on other
>round is for dragging back and forth
>edge is for sideways scraping
>drag
>scrape
>repeat

if the shit sticks were particularly nice you could keep them for a while, but not too long.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 01:03:33 No.620816 Report

Quoted By:

>>620803
i hope sometime when you relax open your gaping sphincter in the water, ready to push out a fecie, a parasitic fish or worm wriggles up your gullet and lays eggs in your duodenum

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 30 Oct 2015 01:07:35 No.620817 Report

Quoted By:

>>620803
riving shitting is not good.

geo cache shitting is, because fuck your stupid fad hobbie and the trash you litter and the shit you do to destroy the enviroment and the garbage and trinkets you leave in your geocache bullshit.

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