/out/ - Outdoors » Thread #631444

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How does one shit in the woods?

Anonymous Mon 16 Nov 2015 19:50:12 No.631444 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>631447 >>631448 >>631461 >>631485 >>631559 >>632242 >>633145

Hey /out/ I took a shit the other day in the woods, and it was very awkward. Do yall have any positions to optimize the process?

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Nov 2015 19:59:59 No.631447 Report

Quoted By: >>631619 >>632602

>>631444
Find a fallen tree, let your ass hang off one side, makes it easy enough. Also, learn to squat, it is healthier for your intestines.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Nov 2015 20:00:37 No.631448 Report

Quoted By: >>631505 >>633151

>>631444
Squat over the nearest geocache.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Nov 2015 20:18:40 No.631454 Report

Quoted By:

Hahaha, when I shit I nearly went on my hiking boots, lol one of the guys tried to shit in hay and his hands fell thru and got hay up his asshole

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Nov 2015 20:26:00 No.631461 Report

Quoted By: >>631465 >>631758

>>631444
Find a creek, shit in that and the shit is whisked away, you can now wash your ass in the clean free flowing water.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Nov 2015 20:34:44 No.631465 Report

Quoted By:

>>631461
this i do this all the time

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Nov 2015 21:13:43 No.631485 Report

Quoted By:

>>631444
Find tree, put your back up against it, assume hovering sitting position. Press against tree to provide support.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Nov 2015 21:53:27 No.631505 Report

Quoted By:

>>631448
Don't forget to bodyslam when done.

Anonymous

Anonymous Mon 16 Nov 2015 22:54:16 No.631559 Report

Quoted By:

>>631444
When I need to take a dump, I boot up my iphone and search for any nearby geocaches; the rest is pretty self-explanatory.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO giphy.gif, 486KiB, 245x180

Anonymous Mon 16 Nov 2015 22:58:20 No.631562 Report

Quoted By: >>631614 >>634102

Dig hole

Slav squat

Pinch loaf

Wipe yer butt

Cover hole

Feel satisfied.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 00:39:07 No.631614 Report

Quoted By:

>>631562
Pretty much this. If you're not feeling the squat you can either lean against a tree or hold onto a branch to make sure you don't shit on your boots or fall over in the process.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO crop.gif, 5KiB, 228x417

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 00:41:14 No.631615 Report

Quoted By:

twirl and flick
twirl and flick

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 00:46:04 No.631619 Report

Quoted By: >>631787

>>631447
this. though everytime I have shit in the woods I've had explosive diarrhea and i was too afraid to just squat for fear of getting poop particles on my pants.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 01:06:20 No.631630 Report

Quoted By: >>632252

How fucking old do you have to be to know how to shit?

Fucking teenagers!

Jeez, even the quality of legitimate shitposts has gone down.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 02:30:27 No.631657 Report

Quoted By: >>631671

Like this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXJqr-gxSGM

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 02:59:52 No.631671 Report

Quoted By: >>631688

>>631657
why did you make me watch a man poo?
For what purpose you did this to me?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 03:33:12 No.631688 Report

Quoted By:

>>631671
Just trying to help a sc/out/ poo in the woods. Maybe he's a visual learner?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 07:42:20 No.631758 Report

Quoted By:

>>631461
>no one took the bait
I'm proud of you /out/.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 07:46:47 No.631760 Report

Quoted By:

This thread is shit.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 09:08:34 No.631787 Report

Quoted By:

>>631619
Trying cooking the trout better.

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 09:22:16 No.631789 Report

Quoted By: >>631923 >>632400 >>632565 >>633222

Anyone else here with a broken rectum? I put big stuff up my ass and the ligament has dropped so I have internal prolapse now (not the full prolapse where your anus falls out).

According to internet im advised not do heavy lifting as i might eventually get full prolapse, but I like being outdoors and I need my supplies.

I usually use a small waterbottle with thin end so i can squirt water to enema, I use gatorade bottle, since I cant usually poo properly, it just gets stuck in there.

Anyone else share the same problem?

Anonymous

Anonymous Tue 17 Nov 2015 18:01:02 No.631923 Report

Quoted By:

>>631789
>Anyone else share the same problem?

I think we all do. And let me thay the Gatorade bottle has other uses and we all like multiple use items

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Nov 2015 02:20:19 No.632242 Report

Quoted By:

>>631444
Write a letter to the pope to ask him politely. He does shit in the woods after all, no?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Nov 2015 02:41:02 No.632252 Report

Quoted By:

>>631630
Again, how stupid do you have to be to fuck up taking a shit?

I mean you can shit on yourself.
Shit on your buddy.
Step in it, fall in it, slip in it.
Shit in your tent.
Shit in your sleeping bag.
Shit in your pants.
Shit on your g/f (ok, guilty).
You can have shit falling out of the trees for all I care, what is the problem?

Just take a shit and do your best not to look shitty stupid.

My fucking God!

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Nov 2015 07:51:46 No.632386 Report

Quoted By:

I remember the first time I went out I found that I had not thought about this at all. It came pretty naturally to lean up against a tree or hang my ass over a fallen tree. I also climbed a tree and sat on a high tree branch just to see what would happen. It made a very satisfying splattering sound when it hit the ground.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Nov 2015 09:54:33 No.632400 Report

Quoted By:

>>631789

Faggot

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Nov 2015 21:39:02 No.632565 Report

Quoted By:

>>631789
No, my rectum isn't broken because I realized at an early age that the asshole is not meant to accommodate anything larger than poop. This is otherwise known as common fucking sense, which cavern anus over here clearly lacks.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Nov 2015 22:22:43 No.632594 Report

Quoted By:

>not wearing a nappy and emptying it when you get home

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 18 Nov 2015 22:36:08 No.632602 Report

Quoted By:

>>631447
Watch for sneks.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Nov 2015 21:25:46 No.633145 Report

Quoted By:

>>631444
I shit in Geocaches and then throw them in the river.

It's what God would have wanted us to aspire to.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1445166014301.jpg, 582KiB, 1408x1348

Anonymous Thu 19 Nov 2015 21:48:34 No.633151 Report

Quoted By: >>633152

>>631448

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Nov 2015 21:50:44 No.633152 Report

Quoted By:

>>633151
You are not healthy anon

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Nov 2015 22:02:49 No.633157 Report

Quoted By: >>633160

You think you're allowed to just shit in the woods? You can't do that on public property and I hope someone stumbles across you while you're squatting and reports you to the park rangers. You people are disgusting, take care of business at home.

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Nov 2015 22:05:29 No.633160 Report

Quoted By: >>633173

>>633157
it's against the law to interrupt a person shidding (yes, even on public property) without the customary salutation "hey how's it going". so don't forget, or you'll get a ticket too

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Nov 2015 22:30:44 No.633173 Report

Quoted By:

>>633160
Is it necessary to pause and wait for an answer of can this be yelled while kicking the offender onto their own pile of feces?

Anonymous

Anonymous Thu 19 Nov 2015 23:58:44 No.633222 Report

Quoted By: >>633486

>>631789

/out/ is not for faggots, go to >>>/fit/ they are all closet homos

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 20 Nov 2015 09:45:37 No.633486 Report

Quoted By:

>>633222
man i was at /fit/ a couple of years ago they were out of the closet pretty much even back then

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 21 Nov 2015 16:51:13 No.634102 Report

Quoted By:

>>631562
this

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How does one shit in the woods?