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Fishing with friends, we're trotting so moving around a lot. Early in the day I announce my shits to everyone, felt like an eel was tryna crawl out of me. While crossing a bridge I tell the lads to carry on without me, trousers down, ass over the handrail and drop about 16 inches of thick dark shit about 15 ft into the river bellow. Everyone sees and I cant breathe for laughing, start fumbling into my pockets for rolling papers, use about 20 trying to get my anus clean. An hour or so passes and I need another beastly shit, I tell everyone to be very quiet as if I've seen a big carp, slowly climb a tree everyone's near looking to the river then say, nah forget it, then I drop trou again and do an albeit smaller but much better shit. It has a pocket of gas trapped behind it so it left the rectum like it was fired and made a clap and squelch sound, oh how we laughed. We've all had a fair few fish now and the canabis is in full flow, we stopped on the scenic part of the river which isn't great for fishing but a good spot to chill, I scramble up an incline and announce to the fellows in about to erupt again, drop trou and prepare to shit down the hill towards them, this ones slimy and thin, I feel it fall into several pieces before hitting the dirt behind me, I know there's more, as I readjust my footing to fus Ro dah I slip and land bare arse in my own shit, rolling backward head over heels down the hill coving my self in shit and still half shitting the rest of the original shit I'm now rolling in.
Needless to say no one wanted to be my friend and I was forced to strip down naked, get in the river and then punch some holes into a bin liner and wear it like a poncho before anyone would let me in their car. Which I had to walk about three miles to.
