>go /out/ camping with a new friend (32yo)
>he says he fucking loves camping
>12-mile hike to the campsite
>he complains the entire time about insects even though nothing ever lands on me
>he eats all the M&Ms out of the trail mix he bought and never touches it again
>he constantly plays some kid's game on his phone running around the woods getting "lost" two times and panicking
>turns out he only brought trail mix to eat on an 8-day camping trip
>he actually said, "Oh I'll just get water at the fountain" when I asked him how much water he was packing even though I gave him a map of the area and told him we'd be up to 15 miles from the nearest anything human related.
>he literally can not setup a tent to save his life
>he didn't want to boil water to drink
>his phone died early on and with nothing to do he just sat around complaining and looking like his fried died
>to top it off, in some unimaginable way he gets poison ivy rash from head to foot

That wasn't even remotely half of it, but I'm not typing up a wall of text. It's been 2 days and he's still not returned to work, he's probably shitting himself to death or something. Worst camping trip of my life, even worse than when someone threw a "water snake" at me and it was actually a copperhead which bit me.

Why is finding a camping buddy that isn't a fucking retard so difficult?