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>Celtic Brit, head to Florida with the family
>They stay in Orlando and do touristy shit whilst I go visit a friend of mine in St Augustine
>Cover myself in suncream, Brits Abroad and all that
>Go on a trip down a natural spring, absolutely beautiful, but all the suncream washes off after a few hours
>Go prat around in the Atlantic the day after
>Same thing happens
>Eventually go back to family
>Arrive early, let myself into hotel room
>Notice have some pretty rough sunburn on shoulders and neck
>Apply aftersun
>After 5 minutes feels like satan himself is tickling my back with wiry pubic hair
>Can barely move, itching so much
>Eventually pour bath before collapsing and lie in it until I feel whole again
