>>84435>Hike into remote area. Start running on the way backIgnore her crying, huffing and puffing while she fades into the distance. Bonus points for cougar countryThis actually is a good idea, although you shouldn't actually leave her out there obviously. Just hike at a VERY FAST pace, and when she can't keep up, wait about a quarter mile down the trail, looking at her impatiently as she approaches. When she starts to catch up, wait until she gets about 20-25 feet from you, and then start hiking VERY QUICKLY again, without allowing her to rest (even though you'll have rested a good 4 minutes waiting for her to catch up). If she complains, tell her that you are "training for a marathon," and "don't mind" how slow she hikes, as you will continue to wait for her.
I know this works because it's how my marathon-running friends hiked with me back when I still went on hiking trips with them. Not that I'm a fatty or really out of shape, but I definitely do not enjoy hiking at a near-jogging pace, and I especially don't like hiking with people who insist on hiking at that pace while treating me like a burden. Fuck those guys.
