Apologies if this seems like an /o/ question, but all the "truck guys" I've asked this to are either clueless or give extremely stupid advice. I figure the fellow rural posters here might have some actual experience.

I live in a very out-of-the-way area. As summer winds down and fall approaches, I've been seeing between 4 and 7 deer on or beside the road per DAY - sometimes I have to honk at them to get them out of where I park. I also see moose with some frequency, and even bighorn sheep with lesser frequency.

I have only been living here for about half a year, but while I love it, it's making me increasingly nervous. The speed limits around here are typically 70 miles an hour, and if they weren't, you'd never get anywhere. Simply driving slow everywhere isn't a realistic option - but I worry that it's just a matter of time before I catch a deer in my headlights at night (I have to drive around at night for work).

Are there any deer/grill guards that actually WORK? So many are flashy trash for 19 year olds that don't actually work. I've had mechanics tell me I'm better off without one, even ones secured at 4 points on the body. Is there a guard out there that will stop body damage at, say, 60 mph if you hit a deer? I expect some body damage if I hit a moose, those things are fucking huge.

If not, anything else I can do? Install a loudspeaker on the top of my truck and loop sounds of lions roaring?