Possibly a wolf's biggest strength is its intelligence. They can problem solve, and outsmart you. In order to a kill a wolf, you have to become the wolf.
This won't be quick, but it is effective. First step is to approach a wolf in the wild. You'll have to start at a distance. Let it know you're not a threat. You can start by leaving food out, and then gradually getting closer each day to the food source while the wolf eats.
Remember, you'll need to look like a wolf, you'll have to dress like a wolf, and act like a wolf.
Eventually you'll need to make contact. This may be the most dangerous part, but once you make contact, the wolf will begin to trust you.
Now you need to seduce the wolf. You can start by just dangling your weiner out of your wolf suit. Just the sight of your hanging man sausage might delight the wolf, but remember a wolf is smart, they WILL play hard to get.
As your bond grows, so will your penis. It's not uncommon at this point to have your wedding vegetable become as hard as a rock at a wolf howling.
Once you can mount the wolf, you must seize the opportunity, and plunge your pork sword deep inside that wolf. You'll both be howling.
If your doggy style game was good enough, youve now successfully made a mate for life. You can now gradually start introducing the wolf into your home, and gradually removing some of your wolf costume. The wolf will begin to act human eventually. The wolf will began to sleep in bed with you, begin to shower, use the toilet, begin to cook dinner. It's all a matter of time.
Finally you'll have a wolf that acts human, that is for all purposes a functioning human.
Now, show the wolf a computer, or tablet, or phone... whatever Internet device you have. Go to 4chan, and open this thread.
The wolf will die of cancer in a few months.
