/out/ - Outdoors » Thread #95650

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Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 06:48:03 No.95650 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>95652 >>95660 >>95661 >>99125

>go innawoods
>no sooner has night started to descend when you feel Mr. Feel all around the woods

Wat do?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 06:57:00 No.95652 Report

Quoted By:

>>95650
Perhaps you can man up and don't be afraid.
Those sounds all around you are not out to get you.
Those sounds all around you is the wonderful world of nature getting ready to fuck. Its basically a bunch of horny animals (big as well as small sometimes) getting ready to screw each other.

Build a fire, and enjoy the symphony of the outside world. If you can hear all the sounds which make you scared as shit, take comfort in the fact that you're not going to hear the sounds of the city, like police sirens and shit.

If you're out innawoods, just know that there are tons of people wishing they were right where you are.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 07:19:26 No.95657 Report

Quoted By:

Sleep works well.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 07:31:44 No.95660 Report

Quoted By:

>>95650

masturbate. everything will be just fine

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 07:32:37 No.95661 Report

Quoted By: >>95693 >>95711 >>95724 >>95751

>>95650
Nothing you hear in the woods is out to get you. It's what you don't hear that is.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 08:43:58 No.95693 Report

Quoted By: >>95723

>>95661
10/10 CREEPY AS FUCK. PLEASE STOP

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 09:34:27 No.95711 Report

Quoted By: >>95719

>>95661
why?

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 10:04:16 No.95719 Report

Quoted By: >>95887 >>99013

>>95711
Not the same person but most animals will avoid you. The things you'll hear will typically be animals either unaware of your presence or those that are unafraid and interested in stealing your food. Anything being intentionally stealthy is likely another human or an animal that is hungry enough to stalk you as a meal.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 10:26:37 No.95723 Report

Quoted By:

>>95693
but he's right anon, why would a real predator let you know they are coming?

Anonymous

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Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 10:27:26 No.95724 Report

Quoted By:

>>95661
Thanks, that made me feel a lot better.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 12:53:47 No.95751 Report

Quoted By:

>>95661
I'm going to be living in the wild for a month and the only thing going through my head at night will be your post. That and the post about "some animals death cries sound remarkably human" or some shit like that.

Creepy /out/ bastards.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 13:18:49 No.95756 Report

Quoted By: >>95842

woods noise story

>illegally camping in yosemite near a cliff face (base of climb to climb bright and early)
>rock platform
>only one method of ingress/outgress
>food up the wazoo, no bear box, out in bear territory
>hear loud rustling down the trail
>OH FUCK ITS GETTING LOUDER
>SHIT SHIT ITS NEAR OUR PACKS, ITS A FUCKING BEAR
>OH GOD SET UP A RAPPEL I DON"T WANT TO DIE
>turn on flashlight
>mfw its a motherfucking rabbit

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 15:39:14 No.95835 Report

Quoted By: >>95836

>be me
>be last summer
>livin' innawoods for months
>walking back to tent (this happened several times)
>oh shit that sudden death feel
>something is watch me
>mountain lion is probably watch me
>Get out 2 1/2" kind of dull pocket knife
>clear throat with loud gutteral noise
>talk in booming baritone voice
>Gah, I am a Very Big and Vicious Thing, not at all like prey! And I don't taste good, no I taste bad. Very bad. You don't want to try to eat me because it will be a hard fight and I will taste bad if you win!
>get to tent. turn on headlamp and feel like paranoid dork
>no mountain lions ever eat me
>Crisis Averted

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 15:40:48 No.95836 Report

Quoted By:

>>95835
forgot. also:
>show teeth and stomp loudly back to tent, with arms raised out and muscles flexed
>flash headlamp to try to catch glaring eyes
>no eyes. sneaky cat.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 15:54:56 No.95842 Report

Quoted By: >>95849 >>95879

>>95756
>food up the wazoo, no bear box, out in bear territory

Google image search, "corpse bear attack photos".

Realize something like that could have happened to you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 16:02:37 No.95849 Report

Quoted By:

>>95842
>Realize something like that could have happened to you.

Possible, but not likely. Black bears are pussies, and in Yosemite they are so habituated to people (and there are so many around) that they are easily chased off most of the time (they will go bother someone else). They are still wild animals, but they are mostly used to people and are seldom aggressive. In Yosemite the bears are pretty well tracked (many of them even have names), and aggressive and problem bears ultimately get put down.

You're right to a point, but worrying about black bears (especially in Yos.) is overblown. You can just as well google "corpse [anything outdoor related]".

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 16:06:36 No.95851 Report

Quoted By: >>95858

>last week
>walking innawood, soaked to the bone
>past midnight
>small lantern so i can see my feet (crevices man)
>rustling to left
>probably nothing
>cover lantern to see farther
>rustling to left
>SHIT FUCK CONTACT
>moonlight shows it
>a least weasel
>little bugger

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 16:14:38 No.95857 Report

Quoted By:

I have a theory that the smaller an animal is the louder the noise it makes in the woods. Two chipmunks fighting can sound like a pack of wolves coming at you.

Best thing to calm the nerves is to bring a dog with you. They will hear/smell something looooong before it gets to you.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 16:14:41 No.95858 Report

Quoted By: >>95871

>>95851
>this weekend
>solo trip, pretty minimalist (no tent just plastic and cordage)
>read up on recent bear attacks in area I'm traveling in
>more scared of bears than when i worked in the Sierras
>hang food, but close to camp
>cook, but close to camp
>night falls and i am all alone
>start to hear things, imagine bogeyman
>fall into uneasy sleep
>hour later, wake with a start
>something creeping in a circle around my camp
>fumble for headlamp and foggy glasses
>oh shit oh shit what is that what could it be?
>flash light, reflective green eyes shine back
>chill down my spine
>it disappears, circles around and climbs up the slope toward me
>green eyes again
>beast is illuminated
>it's a large, black and white roden
>oh shit, a skunk

how do I scare off a skunk without seeming too aggressive?
Lowly and firmly:
>Go away.
>go away.

>It goes away.
>I sleep the night through like a tired child.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 16:33:48 No.95871 Report

Quoted By: >>95873

>>95858
you don't scare a skunk. skunks are complete fucking assholes who fear nothing because everything knows they spray and avoids them. ive had skunks walk straight towards me at night and just be like "do I look like a bitch? you get out of MY way!"

and you know what, I did, cause I didn't want to get sprayed

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 16:37:16 No.95873 Report

Quoted By: >>95958

>>95871
It worked for me. I was about to get all aggressive til I realized what I was up against. I'm glad I started to think straight before I acted. I think we more acknowledged a general, uneasy armistice. The low, calm but firm tones seemed to work.

I was not going to get up and move my camp because a skunk was snooping around. If it came back, I was asleep and we had no problems.

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 16:41:39 No.95879 Report

Quoted By:

>>95842
Yosemite black bears don't really do shit but raid food stores

I've seen them send in the yearlings to steal beer from campsites

Unless you see a mamma with new cubs they are pretty docile, last time I was backpacking I saw at least 4 (4 different times) just nonchalantly cross the trail a few hundred feet in front of me and not give a shit

black bears aren't grizzlies bro

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 16:50:50 No.95887 Report

Quoted By:

>>95719
>likely another human or an animal that is hungry enough to stalk you as a meal
>another human that is hungry enough to stalk you as a meal

Anonymous

Anonymous Wed 24 Apr 2013 17:56:25 No.95958 Report

Quoted By:

>>95873
they are ballsy little fuckers:
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VZwlKANA43w

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 27 Apr 2013 19:44:04 No.99013 Report

Quoted By:

>>95719
meant: Why be so scary!

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 27 Apr 2013 21:57:41 No.99125 Report

Quoted By: >>99588

>>95650
run back home under daddy's blanket. or just open a bottle of wine. that is how a real scout makes it.

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sun 28 Apr 2013 11:42:27 No.99588 Report

Quoted By:

>>99125
>no corkscrew

Way to ruin a tattoo.

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