>>988113And also:
7) You are out with the senpai and a rumble in your belly alerts you to an impending gas leak. But it is No Fart Tuesday and you'll just fucking kill yourself if you have listen to your dad lecture one more time about violating the NFT. You wad the paracord into a ball an lodge it in your asshole, where it acts as a muffler for the fart soon comes passing through. The odor almost gives you away, but luckily your dad was driving past zoo just as it hits everyone. The paracord was destroyed past usefulness.
8) You are eating a potato, raw this time because cant wait to cook it. Guess you should have chewed more thoroughly because potato is now lodged in trachea! Your friend helpfully tries to heimlich but can't get his arms around your ample girth. He and two other guys wrap the paracord around you and use it as a heimlich extender. The potato comes up and you re-eat it, but more carefully this time. Big win for all involved.
9) After a number of cats go missing in your neighborhood you are implicated in a cat bestiality scandal. You wrap the paracord around your eyes with just little slits to see out of, because if they can't see your eyes the face recognition doesn't work. After a few weeks on the lam things die down and you can come back home, which sucks for the replacement cats but great for you because they aren't wise to your antics.
