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Wash a white sweatshirt with the darks. Get a girl with a pretty good rack.
After that - there are a few things you can do.
1. Understand that digital noise and grain look different AND black and white grain and color film grain look different. Color "grain" is really little clouds of dye while black and white are jaggy little crystals. Digital noise looks like loose Chicken Tikka shits.
2. Use some software for a fake film effect - the fast way. NIK collection is free now. Use one of the film effects in "Analog FX" with some fade and a softer grain vs. a harder one.
3. On the curves side - forget about color adjustments for the time being. The "fade" thing is basically raising the black point then bringing back a little contrast by creating a "dip" in the curve in the shadows. It may require one more curve adjustment in the mid-highlight region to keep everything balanced.
