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the only honest answer is shooting on film underneath mostly soft lighting w/ highlights from a kicker/hair light or something.
for digital u can try the usual suspects (black promist/glimmerglass/vintage lenses/etc) and they somewhat work but unfortunately all you can really do is soften it up outside the camera and then try to bring in some extra effect in resolve
pic related is spy kids 2 on the ancient and dogshit sony F900 shooting 8-bit 3:1:1, most of the film looks pretty terrible but these particular scenes were very well lit and definitely showed a marked increase in understanding of how to light digital compared to earlier films.
so if u want to get there, honestly either shoot film or become a lighting maestro. filters are not enough, and neither are lenses, but both can help a little bit.
