Quoted By:
i joined the Marine Corps to be a broadcaster. its what ive done since high school, its what i went to college for, its what im good at. i had never held a camera before they put a Nikon in my hand and gave me the 4541 designation of combat still imagery specialist. i was awful at it. i was training along side actual photographers, real film makers, i had never done anything like this. i was depressed and angry constantly because i couldn't do the job my Corps had given me. i hated my superiors, i hated my recruiter, and i hated myself. i was a terrible photographer. i just couldnt get anything right... One day, i called my mom while i sat in the shower in tears. i kept telling her how i just wanted to die, how the navy and the airforce still has broadcasters, how i felt worthless... she told me abot my grandpas love of photography. how he would always shoot birds and planes and anything he could. how much he loved it. from then on, i just thought of my grandpa every time i sighted in on my camera. my army photo instructor told me about how this is the best job in the military, all the great things ill get to see and do. i put my head down and became the best photographer i could be. i felt my grandpa behind me the whole way. i made it though DINFOS and into the fleet, i keep trying to prove myself but the more i try, the more i get passed up for stuff. i just missed out on a deployment to Norway. My gunny gave it t a graphics Marine who's never taken more than 10 photos in his life. im slowly sinking back into depression. ive shot some cool shit here with 2dmardiv, im actually pretty good at this now. im just looking at the fact that im never going to go anywhere. i photograph mostly personality portraits, ranges, ceremonies, some cool ops and stuff but nothing compared to what i could get to do on deployment. im just tired of sitting here doing nothing. Im still hopeful and i still keep getting better though. they see it, they tell me, they just wont let me go.
