>>3121550Get a better script, it's really boring. Give them clear goals and motivations, have them be in conflict with something (i.e. one wants to get it done quickly, because the lady will be home soon, the other wants to steal as much as possible. Now there is tension and your audience is interested to see what will happen.)
Visually it's uninteresting. Use good composition and lighting to underline your story.
There is no rythm to it. Not only should the story have a certain rythm to the events and the dialogue, you also want your shots to flow into one another. A lot of your shots last way too long and I found myself skipping forward. This is the worst case scenario. If a shot does not add to the mood, flow, or story, don't put it in. You also don't have to show full motions, the audience is not dumb: If you cut halfway through the motion to the next action, the viewer will not be confused. Keep it tight.
Unify your film look. You have that Hotline Miami vibe in your title, but then you cut to two people walking slowly in the woods, with overcast lighting. If you want to go for something like 'Drive', then light your scenes in that neon look, dress your characters accordingly, etc.
The theme is what creates the cinematic reality, so let the theme dictate all of what is in the reality you are presenting. This will tie everything together nicely.
Don't be discouraged by people shitting on your thing. Know why it's shit, and learn from your mistakes. Make your next thing better.
Good luck.
