I'm no professional myself but here are what I consider to be some of your issues:
1. this gets said a lot on /p/ but your composition sucks, seriously, study up on this.
>>3206023 and
>>3206026 the negative space is just thoughtless.
2. your model comes off as bored/uncomfortable. was it her first shoot? did you direct her at all? in
>>3206025 her hair almost looks untamed and wild but instead it's just awkwardly blowing into her face and obscuring her features. you could have made more of this in order to achieve a deliberate effect, teased it, used hair spray etc but it doesn't work for me as-is. she looks like she just wore 'whatever' plus an ugly skirt, no shoes, and those hideous leggings. you could have gone with a creepy doll-like dress, or an '80s casual wardrobe like t-shirt/jeans/sneakers or a raincoat for a Stranger Things/It vibe, or otherwise stuck to casual clothes. don't half-ass it.
3. you clearly chose the location carefully but your framing & lighting do nothing to portray the 'spooky' atmosphere. instead, you made it look as if your model is sitting on a garbage-covered tumbledown porch in front of the moldy weatherboards of a crack house. you had the whole house and leafless tree to work with, would have loved to see more. could you at least have moved that stick from behind her in
>>3206023 ? that is really triggering me.
4. could you have chosen the time of day differently to capture the light? there is only a hint of good light in
>>3206023 , otherwise it's very flat.
the changes I recommend cost almost nothing & require maybe an hour or two of extra preparation.
/my opinion
