Nyet comrade, Zorki is fine. You want camera? Here is camera.
Soviet camera is made of finest steel, weighs 10 kilograms, is of powered by two-horsepower gasoline engine. It not take pictures, it capture soul. Fancy pants western lingo of picture quality is describe as 'abstract,' suitable for proletarian needs.
Lens hand-polished by babushka using potato and vodka. Shutter speed measured in minutes. Perfect for still life and portraits of Lenin.
Include only one button: 'Kurwa.' To operate, point in general direction of subject, say prayer to Marx, and press button. Resulting image will be developing in secret underground laboratory by compatriots.
Remember, in Soviet Russia, you don't use camera. Camera use you.
