* Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.
* Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]
* Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
* Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
* Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.
* Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light - the light waits for him.
* Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
* Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
* Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
* When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories
* Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker
* Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius
* Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
* Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you
* Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
* When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos
* For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.
* Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF
* The term tripod was coined after his silhouette
* Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer
* Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues
Anyone who replies to this post acknowledges that Ken rocks and denounces the talmud.
