Quoted By:
>Jonah feuds with Happy Corbin
>Heel Corbin is getting ready to SLIME Jonah
>as the SLIME descends from the rafters
>Jonah looks up with a sparkle in his eye
>before a single drop of SLIME can touch his Aborgine head
>he swiftly cartwheels out of the way
>the SLIME splatters all over the canvas
>holy shit chants echo throughout the arena
>Jonah looks at the crowd, does the signature Chris Benoit thumb throat slice taunt
>Corbin stunned,shocked, & bamboozled
>Corbin gets on his kneels and does the Ric Flair beg for mercy maneuver
>Roman Reigns music hits
>Here comes the Bloodline
>Roman and the Usos surround Jonah
>they all kneel
>Roman places both titles at Jonah’s feet
>crowd begins chanting this is awesome
>Pat McAfee has a heart attack due to the excitement (NOT VACCINE RELATED)
>commercial break
>Vince McMahon rappels from the rafters
>says his last and final decision for the WWE Universe is to crown Jonah Universal WWE champion
>the entire roster comes out and carries the NEW champion around the ring
>Tony Khan tweets how significant this moment was for wrestling
>decides he can’t compete any more and shuts down AEW
>New Japan and Impact also shutdown
>/pw/ is changed to /jz/ for the Jonah zone
>wwe releases a new Jonah shirt
>record breaking sales and starts a new fashion trend
>Jonah t-shirt sales fix the global economy
>the world is saved
>Biden gives him the Medal of Honor
>anti-Jonah chuds forever seethe
