Quoted By:
>be me, Joe Tessitore, ESPN announcer, voice of drama, emotion, testosterone
>get booked to call a triple threat match on Smackdown
>LA Knight vs Shinsuke Nakamura vs Aleister Black
>LA Knight struts out like he owns the arena
>“YEAH” echoing through the arena like a drunk gospel choir
>lowkey vibing, not gonna lie
>Shinsuke slides out with his anime villain energy
>crowd is losing their minds
>mfw I start quoting Sun Tzu while calling his entrance
>feel like a philosopher with a headset
>cue Aleister Black
>rises up chained to a piece of cardboard
>takes five minutes to sit up like The Undertaker’s sleepy cousin
>music sounds like a Slipknot B-side
>already snoring internally
>match starts
>LA Knight slapping charisma into everyone
>Shinsuke still looking pretty zesty even though he's a ninja or something
>Aleister Black... still brooding in the corner
>does a moonsault, crowd gives a polite golf clap
>I accidentally yawn into the mic
>LA Knight hits the BFT
>Shinsuke out of nowhere with the Kinshasa
>ring sounds like a car crash at a ninja dojo
>Black is meditating or something
>Feel my soul leave my body after this broody faggot does a spin kick that has more air it than a Christian side hug
>match ends
>“Wow, what a performance..."
>LA Knight walks by, says “YEAH” and finger bangs me
>feelsgoodman
