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>This just in: wrestling superstar Bryan Danielson has been raped yet again, this time by a prize horse in rural Vermont.
>We spoke to the owner about the incident.
>"The horse's name is Tyrone. We called him that because he's a black stallion. It was funny at the time. It's not funny anymore."
>Experts say that Tyrone has an abnormally large penis for a male horse.
>We interviewed Bryan himself earlier today.
>"Bryan, how are you feeling after the attack?"
>"Terrible. That guy was hung like a horse."
>"He was a horse"
>"Oh, okay"
>More on this story as it develops.
