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Hulk Hogan, world-renowned wrestler and reality TV star, was today executed by firing squad by the United Nations for cooking bad overpriced pasta.
Hogan, whose real name is Terry Bollea, was convicted of the crime in a unanimous decision by the UN General Assembly. Hogan opened his restaurant, Pastamania, in 1996, and it quickly became a popular destination for wrestling fans and pasta lovers alike. However, the restaurant's pasta was consistently subpar, and Hogan was eventually arrested and charged with cooking bad pasta. After a lengthy trial, Hogan was found guilty and sentenced to death
"Hulk Hogan's pasta was so bad that it endangered the lives of those who ate it," said UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon. "His execution is a fitting punishment for his crime."
Hogan's execution was carried out at the UN headquarters in New York City. He was given a final meal of spaghetti and meatballs, which he reportedly cooked himself.
His death is likely to send a strong message to other would-be pasta chefs around the world.
