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Big Sexy Kevin Nash, clad in bright rainbow-colored pants, sunglasses, and a "RESIST" t-shirt, stormed into the mall food court, his partner CM Punk by his side. CM Punk was sporting a fancy Saudi Arabian outfit, along with a "LOVE IS LOVE" hat.
The duo, self-proclaimed champions of social justice, began to rant about the injustices of the 4th of July celebrations. "There is no more freedom in America!" Kevin Nash declared, his voice echoing through the food court. "It's all just a myth perpetuated by Trump to keep the marginalized down!"
CM Punk nodded vigorously, adding, "Yeah, and don't even get me started on the commercialization of patriotism. It's just a way to distract us from the systemic issues that really matter!"
As they continued to pontificate, they began to get more and more agitated, eventually working themselves up into a frenzy. In a shocking display, they decided to express their "resistance" by sharing a passionate kiss in the middle of the food court.
Just as things were getting steamy, Mick Foley, dressed in a "Save the Whales" t-shirt and a "Make Love Not War" hat, appeared out of nowhere, a self-righteous grin spreading across his face. "Ah, brothers, I couldn't help but overhear your powerful statement. You're absolutely right, we must challenge the status quo and fight for a more just society!"
Kevin Nash and CM Punk turned to him, expecting a kindred spirit. But Mick Foley's eyes took on a strange, glazed-over look as he continued, "You see, I've been thinking a lot about the intersectionality of social justice and personal freedom... and I've come to the realization that the most important revolution is the one within ourselves."
As the crowd around them gasped in shock, Mick Foley proceeded to masturbate, muttering something about "empowering the individual" and "challenging the patriarchy." Kevin Nash and CM Punk looked on, their faces a mix of horror and embarrassment.
