Wednesday nights I get to stay up late
Watch Kenny Omega while I masturbate
Hey Mom I need to watch this show
Meltzer says I'm in the key demo
Meltzer says I'm in the key demo

In my mom's basement
I steal her wifi
and I pay no rent
AEW's cool,
We've got indy stars,
dropouts from wrestling school

Like Joe Janella at the top of the card
He trained himself in his own backyard
This is shit everyone should get,
Well everyone, except Jim Cornette

Wednesday nights I get to stay up late
Watch Kenny Omega while I masturbate
Who needs women or hanging round in bars
when you can watch the Bucks get seven stars
I'd rather watch the Bucks earn seven stars

Dynamite's the word
best ever tag team division,
haven't you heard
we've got Jericho
Orange Cassidy and my girl Riho

Like Tony I do fantasy booking
A title tournament, now we're cooking
and I can't wait to hear what Corny has to say,
when Marko Stunt goes all the way

Wednesday nights I get to stay up late
Watch Kenny Omega while I masturbate
Hey mom, don't come in
Go away I'm watching wrestling
Go away I'm watching wrestling

Ah, this is wrestling heaven
don't listen to Corny, he hasn't been relevant since 1987
He thinks Luchasaurus can't work a lick
Or that Bobby Eaton could hold a candle to either Matt or Nick
He wants to cut up our heroes with a rusty fishing knife
or get them in the hot tub to play spot the submarine with him and his wife
and no mom, I'm not bitter
This has nothing to do with Jim blocking me on twitter

And now, here comes Miro,
wearing pyjamas like me, he's my hero
the young bucks could shoot on Buzz Sawyer
make Brock Lesnar take a Canadian Destroyer

Wednesday nights I get to stay up late
Watch Kenny Omega while I masturbate
Hey Mom I need to watch this show
Meltzer says I'm in the key demo
I am 39, I'm in the key demo
I'm a single male, I'm in the key demo