>>10693320At first life becomes a constant struggle, so you start to think "this sucks, every day sucks, my entire life sucks, why am I even alive?"
Then you start going to bed thinking "uggh more of the same shit tomorrow, I wish I would just die in my sleep already"
Then it seeps into your everyday waking life "what if I just jumped in front of this train so I wouldn't have to go to work? what if I just slit my wrists with this kitchen knife? why don't I just hang myself with this belt?"
Then your fear of dying starts to erode and death seems like an option, a realistic exit strategy, a solution to every problem, and you make pacts like "if X or Y goes wrong, I'm ending it" and "I'm gonna give it one more month and if it doesn't get better I'm done"
Once you've reached that point it's just a matter of time before one day you reach that final straw and you decide enough is enough and you start planning for the final goodbye
