Hello everyone, this is Royce Gracie and I just wanted to tell you all about the story of brazilian jiu-jitsu, the art of gay rape. It all started when I entered a Judo tournament as a young lad. They put me up against a jungle headhunter. I was just trying to put him in a triangle choke when all of a sudden, his pants slipped down and my dick went in his ass. Total accident, I swear. This jungle headhunter didn't take kindly to this unexpected penetration, and went into a savage rage, beating me into unconsciousness. When I woke up in the hospital I said
>I'll show them. I'll show them all. I will create an entire martial art around the concept of gay rape and elevate it to a higher level
But alas, I needed a master. So I wandered the jungles with my brothers until I found an old Japanese man named Mitsuyo Maeda. Maeda had been a student of the great Judo master Jigoro Kano, until he was expelled from Japan for 1,537 acts of public homosexual rape. Not knowing where else to go, he went to Brazil to rape monkeys in the jungle. Well, he couldn't catch any monkeys, but he did catch me and my brothers. He molded us into the most elite anal rapists in all of Brazil. I won tournaments in many places because people were so weirded out by my homo humping techniques. I'll never forget the day I graduated and became a Sensei. Maeda-san told me to lay flat on the floor, and then he excreted a gigantically long TURD on my chest. He said
>ROYCE-SAN! HERE IS YOUR BROWN BELT! THAT IS THE LAST THING YOU'LL EVER GET FROM ME. I STILL WANT TO CATCHU THOSE MONKEYS DESU
And with that, my master disappeared back into the jungle with a raging hard on and a bag of monkey chow. I still have that 3-foot Rio steamer he dropped, in a glass case on my mantle. I decided that one day, I shall pass it on to my descendants, but I realize that I may not have any descendants since Maeda turned most of my family into homosexuals. That's why I decided to teach the arts of rape to the entire world!
