"...We'll see how smart you are when the K-9 comes"
Thursday January 8th 2004, Baltimore Maryland

Allison Danger picks up the inoccent looking Punk rock wrestling hooligan who hasn't slept on a Wednesday night in the past three months at the Baltimore airport. What follows is their story. Names have been mostly made up due to Punks hatred for officers of "the law"...

So yeah, I let Allison drive my car, and she doesn't crash it, so we celebrate by me getting pulled over for (are you ready for this?).....
:drum roll:
Driving too close to the vehicle in front of me.
At least that's what the very clean cut looking officer who more than likely winds down his hard days "work" by downing a case of beer and beating his wife silly because he's embarassed he can't help his 8 year old with his math homework told me. I was told that I was following one and a half car lengths behind the guy that cut me off, when I was supposed to be following him TWO car lengths.
Officer Douche Mcallister asks me the usual questions, and the entire conversation went exactly like this: