>Be me. (Jon Moxley).
>Wake up. Smell waffles.
>Fuck yeah Renee's making waffles.
>Head hurts. Can't remember what happened last night. Oh fuck.
"Renee?"
"What is it dear?"
"Was I drinking last night?"
"No dear."
"Then why does my head hurt?"
"Because you had a concussion."
"What happened?"
"The little flippy Mexican fellow dropped you on your head."
"Penta?"
"No, it was his janetty, Ph-"
"Flamenco!? I always knew that guy was carny. Did I win the match?"
"No dear."
"Fuck... Did I blade?"
"No dear."
"Fuck... Did he blade?"
"No dear."
>This means it's a tie.
>Eat my waffles with about .25 Mutas of strawberry syrup.
>I fucking love strawberry syrup. Reminds me of blading.
>Renee kisses me on the cheek on my way out the door.
"Remember Jon, no blading before noon."
"Yes dear."
>Buy more blades on my way to work. Somebody keeps stealing them. I think it might be Paul. He's a big guy, so he must need a lot of blades.
>Next thing I know Tony's yelling at me. Again. Something about this girl called Milly. I'm not really paying attention.
"Hey Tony can I go work FREEDOM pro-wrestling's Desanguination December event?"
"No Jon! Have you been listening to anything I've been saying?! I need you to job to Ric Flair in December."
"Can I bl-"
"No you can't blade! The advertisers don't like it! I already told you, if you blade on live TV again I'm suspending you for the rest of the year. Now hurry up and get ready for the press conference, I've got a big announcement to make."
"Is the press conference on live TV?"
"Yes."
"Can we hold it in the afternoon?"
"Sure, why?"
"No reason."