As the shadows of the dark alley enveloped them, a group of disheveled Internet wrestling forum nerds emerged from the gloom, their eyes burning with a fierce intensity. Their target: former pro wrestler Kevin Nash, who had recently been let go from the WWE. The plan was simple: to rape him and record it on their iPhones.

Unbeknownst to the nerds, Nash had been tipped off about their sinister plot. As they closed in on him, he sprang into action, launching himself at the lead nerd and delivering a devastating clothesline that sent the scrawny bastard flying into a dumpster. The remaining nerds, stunned by the speed and ferocity of Nash's attack, scattered like cockroaches.

As Nash caught his breath, he couldn't help but feel a twinge of pity for these misguided souls. After all, they were just a bunch of pathetic basement-dwellers who had never experienced true physical dominance. He decided to take them to a greasy Chinese restaurant to share some food and offer them a few words of wisdom. As they walked, one of the nerds tentatively asked, "Hey, Kevin... do you think Ric Flair would ever show up?"

To their surprise, Ric Flair himself appeared out of nowhere, clad in his flashy robes and sporting a new energy drink that he was promoting. "Diamond Dazzler!" he exclaimed, handing one to Nash. "It's the drink that'll make you feel like a real man, brother! You know, I've always had a special place in my heart for you, Kevin Nash. You're the real deal."