I hate my life. I am absolutely alone with no one in the world to talk to and yet I am in a position that constantly reminds me that most people are not alone, have friends, partners, family etc. that care about them.

I am just socially aware to know that I am missing out on a core aspect of the human experience, yet I am so mentally fucked and unable to relate to a normal person that I am perpetually trapped behind a glass wall in my daily life.

I am just socially competent enough to blend in with normal people and appear in a way that may make them mistake me for a fellow normal person, but I can never do anything to complete the LARP and something I do will always out me as a lesser life form.

I serve no purpose, I add no value to anyone elses life. People forget me the second I am no longer around them. I am a ghost in the world. I will never do anything meaningful, I can't even kill myself right.

Communicating with men makes me scared as I feel like they will physically attack me or try to leverage power over me for their own gain. Communicating with women makes my fucking brain hurt as they spin a web of games and bullshit to get whatever they want out of me.

I can't do anything. I am truly stuck on the ride that is life, and I want to get off. I wasn't meant for this world. I don't know what else to say. I have nowhere else to turn but a thinly wrestling themed shitpost forum on a Norwegian bagpipe tuning forum