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ITT: Wrestling promos in Shakespearean

Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 14:47:46 No.12581282 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>12581349 >>12582189 >>12582348

https://lingojam.com/EnglishtoShakespearean
>Thee sitteth th're and thee thump thy bible, and thee sayeth thy prayeth'rs, and t didn't receiveth thee anywh're. Speak of thy psalms, speak of john 3:16. Austin 3:16 sayeth i just did whip thy rampallian!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 14:54:25 No.12581319 Report

Quoted By:

>What art thee going to doth, at which hour the new world order runs wild on thee

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 14:57:53 No.12581349 Report

Quoted By: >>12581355 >>12581378 >>12582464

>>12581282
Oh good, I can't wait the for the eventual iteration of the events that occured in the Summer of 1992. So funny and original.

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 14:59:40 No.12581355 Report

Quoted By:

>>12581349
Why are you so mad? If 92 posting makes your butthole pucker that much then just filter it

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 15:02:40 No.12581378 Report

Quoted By:

>>12581349
Frogtroon crying

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 15:22:45 No.12581490 Report

Quoted By:

>This is wh're the big boys playeth. behold at the adjective, playeth

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 15:29:50 No.12581548 Report

Quoted By: >>12583078

Thee knoweth those gents sayeth all men art did create equal, but thee behold at me and thee behold at samoa joe and thee can seeth yond statement is not true! seeth, n'rmally if 't be true thee wend one-on-one with anoth'r wrestl'r thee did get a 50/50 chance of winning. But i'm a genetic freak, and i'm not n'rmal! so thee did get a 25% at most wondrous at beating me! and then thee addeth kurt angle to the mixeth? thy chances of winning drastically wend down. Seeth, the three-way at sacrifice, thee did get a 33 1/3 chance of winning. But i—i did get a 66 2/3 chance of winning, 'cause kurt angle knooows that gent can't did beat me, and that gent's not coequal gonna tryeth. So, samoa joe, thee taketh thy 33 1/3 chance minus mine own 25% chance, and thee did get an 8 1/3 chance of winning at sacrifice. But then thee taketh mine own 75% chance of winning (if we wast to wend one on one), and then addeth 66 2/3 cha—p'rcent, i did get a 141 2/3 chance of winning at sacrifice! señ'r joe, the numb'rs forswear not, and those gents spelleth disast'r f'r thee at sacrifice!

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 16:36:42 No.12582076 Report

Quoted By: >>12582094

>Playtime's ov'r, sitteth down and break thee off. Lat'r on tonight, th're's gonna beest a matcheth f'r the tag team titles between the acolytes and x-pac & kane, whatev'r whatev'r, t's not imp'rtant. The fact of the matt'r is, this sunday at summ'rslam the winn'r of yond matcheth shall cometh visage to visage with this. And to maketh sure yond mine own sir wast right, this week i putteth that gent to the testeth. I hadst paul beareth'r calleth out to calif'rnia - san f'rnando valley to some associates of ours at the local 81 - paul hath said we're gonna needeth two bikes f'r a rideth in the des'rt. The guy hath said 'broth'r paul, anon we knoweth yond the dead sir can handleth t, but i knoweth not about the big showeth. T's august, t's 120 degrees in the middle of death valley. ' that gent sayeth 'the only things yond survive in the des'rt art the cold-blood'd. the snakes and the lizards. ' paul hath said 'that's good now, and in one of those bikes yond thou art setting up f'r us, i wanteth thee the big showeth to only has't enow gas to receiveth to the middle of the des'rt and not receiveth backeth. '...

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 16:38:25 No.12582094 Report

Quoted By:

>>12582076
so we're on our way - we receiveth to the middle of death valley - 120 degrees, the big showeth's bike runs out of gas. And i pulleth up next to that gent and i asketh that gent this questioneth: 'it's 120 degrees, how art thee gonna survive?' that gent looks me straight in the eyes, without hesitation, that gent sayeth 'i'm gonna waiteth 'til thee wend to catch but a wink, i'm gonna paunch thee in the backeth, i'm gonna cutteth thy flesh off, maketh a coat out of t, and i'm gonna consume thy flesh until i findeth food. ' i hath said 'good answ'r big sir, but i catch not but a wink,' and i did drive off and hath left that gent. I wait'd on the outskirts of the des'rt. Two days lat'r, that gent walks out with a snake necktie and lizard boots, carryin' his harley-davidson on his shouldst'r. The pointeth of the st'ry is this. What hath used to beest known as summ'rslam shall anon beest known as armageddon, and whoev'r shows up. shall beest did hurt

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 16:38:41 No.12582095 Report

Quoted By: >>12582116

>Wrestlemania iii at the silv'rdome pontiac, michigan, t's a day yond i'm c'rtain mine own guest at this timeth shall not f'rget, i'm talking about the f'rm'r int'rcontinental champion of the w'rld, macho sir randy sav
>Nothing means nothing!
>Noth. ?
>Nothing means nothing, sir
>Nothing means nothing? what doth thee cullionly by yond?
>I'm talking about all the way to the top, yeah. Unjustifiably in a position yond i'd rath'r not beest in. But the cream shall riseth to the top, ooh yeah. Macho madness, yeah, hast did get m're to off'r than president jack tunney thinkest yond i did get, yeah, and alloweth me bid thee something even but now, cards stack'd 'gainst the macho sir randy savage in wrestlemania iii, alloweth me sayeth t, yeah, alloweth me sayeth t out loud, and alloweth me pointeth to the president of the w'rld wrestling did feed'ration, the macho sir randy savage is not joyous with thy decision, yeah. I am the cream in the w'rld wrestling did feed'ration and th're is nay doubteth about t, yeah, thee cullionly gene tis fine'rlund thee knoweth yond i'm the cream of the crop!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 16:40:52 No.12582116 Report

Quoted By:

>>12582095
>Well, wait-wait a minute though randy, i've did get to asketh thee v'ry s'riously, doth thee censure mr. Jack tunney, the distinguish'd president of the w'rld wrestling did feed'ration, f'r ricky steamboat being the int'rcontinental champion the present day?
>Yeah, i doth, yeah. Outside int'rf'rence, yeah. In mine own moment of gl'ry! yeah, and anon i'm living in a nightmare. And i am the cream. And anon, not only the int'rcontinental heavyweight belt might not but falleth but, the w'rld heavyweight championship belt! because hulk hogan, yeah, i am the cream, yeah, the cream of the crop. And th're is no-one yond doest t bett'r than the macho sir randy savage! on balanceth, off balanceth, doesn't matt'r. I'm bett'r than thou art, yeah, and i'm talking ev'ryone in the w'rld wrestling did feed'ration, and i'm coequal talking to president jack tunney, yeah. I'm on mine own way, and nothing is gonna stand ho me. Nothing's gonna stand ho me
>Thee knoweth, just out of curiosity, randy, and i c'rtainly wanteth not to diminish thy tremendous god given talents, but i'm v'ry curious. I haven't seen Elizabeth lately
>Yeah. The lady's on the outside of the ringeth, doest the lady int'rf're in matches? yeah? nothing, z'ro, pure athlete yeah and i've been, uh yeah, malign'd from the top to the bottom and because those gents can't handleth the macho sir randy savage: the cream of the crop! nobody doest t bett'r!

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 16:47:17 No.12582163 Report

Quoted By:

>Ho yo! cutteth mine own music dawg! cutteth mine own music yo!. Yo! thee better cutteth yond the horror, dawg!
>ho, adam page! ho yo hangman! i seeth thee thou did get a gust f'r oth'r men's bodily fluids. Ho pahtnah, thee knoweth, und'r c'rtain circumstances yond wouldst maketh us liketh broth'rs. Problem is, at which hour t cometh to mine own pref'rence in. um. sir juices, i prefereth t coming straight from the tapeth! anon dawg, thee wanna wend 'round the locketh'room drinking oth'r men's blood liketh some anxious vampire, then thee doth thee. But mine own sir, at which hour t cometh to gettin' a dudes nut, well yond's all me! hangman adam page! alloweth me giveth thee a warning. I catcheth thee suckin' on some broth'r below the belt, then i'm knocking thee the alas out. I seeth thee with a mouthful of something yond did look liketh thee just did suck off frosty the snowman instead of blood, then i'm knockin' thee the alas out! did get t!? behold at me! behold at me! loo-
>*violently shakes the cam'ra*
>behold at me thee meek alas! aew's nut reserve is f'r me and me high-lone! alas t! tk receiveth sammy guevara on tapeth! i'm thirsty! hitteth the konami music!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 16:51:38 No.12582189 Report

Quoted By:

>>12581282
"in a casino, thee shouldst gamble. Alloweth me bid thee something, anvil, thee wanteth not to playeth cards with me, because i'll cheateth. Well enow, i cheateth. Thee wanteth to playeth 21, i did get 22. Thee wanteth to playeth black jack? i did get two of those too. Thee wanteth to playeth aces and eights? well, i did get some of those too. Bottom line is this. Thee doth not gamble with me. At which hour thee walketh into a casino and thee wanteth to gamble, the main thing thee wilt doth, is this, thee wilt accepteth losing. I accepteth not losing, and neith'r doest damien. Damien, mine own cousin! mine own cousin damien is right h're. Thee wanteth not to seeth this, doth thee? alloweth me showeth thee something. I bid thee what anvil, wend ahead, anvil, rolleth the dice. Mr. Cam'raman, receiveth thy rampallian backeth up h're. Hell-oooo, i'm talkin' to thee. Receiveth yond cam'ra backeth up h're. Yond's what thee shouldst w'rry about anvil. The bottom line is this, at which hour the ddt cometh, then the snake cometh out. W'rry about the ddt. Ddt! ddt! ddt! ddt! ddt! ddt! ddt! bethink about t!"

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 16:54:39 No.12582219 Report

Quoted By:

>The first thing i wanteth to beest done, is to receiveth yond piece of alas out of mine own ringeth. Just not receiveth that gent out of the ringeth, receiveth that gent out of the wwf! Because i've proven, son, without a shadow of a doubteth: thee ain't did get what t doth take anym're! thee sitteth th're and thee thump thy bible and thee sayeth thy prayeth'rs, and t didn't receiveth thee anywh're. Speak of thy psalms, speak of john 3:16--austin 3:16 sayeth: 'i've just did whip thy rampallian!' all that gent hast did get to doth, is buyeth that gent a vile bombard of thund'rbird, and tryeth to digeth backeth some of yond courage that gent hadst in his prime.

>As the king of the ringeth, i'm s'rving noticeth to ev'ry one of the wwf sup'rstars. I giveth not a alas what those gents art, those gents're all on the list--and yond is stone bitter cold's list--and i'm fixing to starteth running through all of those folk. As far as this championship matcheth is conc'rned, son, i giveth not a alas if 't be true t's davey knave smith 'r shawn michaels. Steve austin's timeth hast cometh. And at which hour i receiveth the did shoot, thou art looking at the next wwf champion. And yond's the bottom line, because stone bitter cold hath said so."

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 16:55:29 No.12582225 Report

Quoted By: >>12582238

>Thou art a disgrace to professional wrestling. Thee knoweth, i'm a second gen'ration wrestl'r. I hath paid mine own dues, liketh a lot of second gen'ration wrestl'rs. and thou art nothing but the lowest f'rm of scum yond i've ev'r cometh across. Prithee, spareth me thy che'rs. Shawn michaels. thou art nothing but a degen'rate! and i bethink, i knoweth, as the rest of the hart foundation knoweth what the 'h-h-h' stands f'r and hbk. thou art nothing but a homo, and yond guy th're in yond green shirt is nothing but a homo

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 16:57:08 No.12582238 Report

Quoted By: >>12582284

>>12582225
>Oh i'm nay que'r

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 17:03:30 No.12582284 Report

Quoted By:

>>12582238
>Bid 'em, Tri!

Anonymous

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Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 17:11:10 No.12582348 Report

Quoted By:

>>12581282
>i wouldst liketh to sendeth a special shoutout to mine own homeboy oj simpson - keepeth up the valorous w'rk baby, two less we did get to w'rry about, thee und'rstand? keepeth up the valorous w'rk! louis farrakhan wouldst beest the next president! snoop dogg, we knoweth thou art innocent - thee hath called me last night of all, thee und'rstand? receiveth eft smoky mountain because we gon' setteth this lodging on fireth!"

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 17:25:19 No.12582464 Report

Quoted By: >>12583129

>>12581349
T wast a unbearably warmeth and sticky summ'r in the cullionly streets of detroit michigan, a gaggle of black men hath followed sir nash between the homes of the city. and those gents didst at which hour men doth, in the year of 1992

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 18:35:38 No.12583078 Report

Quoted By:

>>12581548
Beat me to it

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 18:40:24 No.12583129 Report

Quoted By:

>>12582464
kek what a wench!

Anonymous

Anonymous Sat 09 Dec 2023 20:11:45 No.12583955 Report

Quoted By:

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ITT: Wrestling promos in Shakespearean