"They were all mortifying. People don't realize. I went out there and owned it the best I could and pushed through the fear, but it was mortifying. There were times when, I remember specifically this house show, that I was in this bikini showdown with Dawn Marie and Sable and someone else. I was standing in the corner watching one of the girls dance in the middle and literally fighting back tears. 'I cannot believe I'm doing this right now.' It got to a raunchy point and I was like, 'I don't want to be a part of this,' but it was also my job,"