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3MiB, 512x480, Video.Guru_20240509_170053931(17-01-32.584).webm

Anonymous Fri 10 May 2024 00:14:51 No.14587293 View View Reply Original Report

Quoted By: >>14587304 >>14587460 >>14587528 >>14588206

>Well, the first thing you've got to realize, brother, is... this right here is the future of religion. You can call this the New Testament of Christianity, brother.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 May 2024 00:15:42 No.14587304 Report

Quoted By: >>14587380

>>14587293
>Eternal damnation? That finish doesn't work for me, brother.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 May 2024 00:25:33 No.14587380 Report

Quoted By:

>>14587304

>"when I get home, the bandana comes off and I'm just Terry"
>as footage of his baptism with the headband on is shown.

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO HHBROTHER.jpg, 13KiB, 225x224

Anonymous Fri 10 May 2024 00:34:32 No.14587460 Report

Quoted By: >>14588407 >>14588679

>>14587293
>Now, let me tell you something, brother. Jesus, he was the real champion of the people. He didn’t need a belt or a title to prove his strength. His power came from his words and his actions, and man, did he draw a big crowd everywhere he went!
> But it wasn’t all high-flying and cheers. There was this one time, in the garden of Gethsemane—Jesus, he was facing the biggest match of his life. He knew he had to lay it all down for humanity. That’s what we in the wrestling world call “doing the job”—and Jesus, he was prepared to do it for all of us, brother.
>Then came the big betrayal—yeah, there was a heel turn. One of his closest, Judas, turned on him for just 30 pieces of silver. Worse than any sneak attack with a folding chair, brother. And that led to Jesus being taken down, put on trial, and facing the ultimate showdown on Golgotha.
> But here’s the highspot, the real main event—Jesus, he didn't stay down. No, brother, on the third day, he kicked out! Rose back up and rolled away that stone, showing the whole world that not even death could hold down the Son of God.
>And his finishing move? Wasn’t a leg drop or a big boot, dude. It was love. Pure, unconditional love. He taught us to love our neighbors, turn the other cheek, and forgive those who trespass against us. And that message, it hit harder than any clothesline or piledriver ever could.
>So remember, when you're down and it feels like you're being pinned to the mat for the three-count, just think of Jesus. He showed us that no matter how tough it gets, you can always make a comeback if you keep love and faith in your corner.
>Now, what you gonna do when Jesus Christ and Hulkamania run wild on you, brother?

[Hulk Hogan flexes and points to the heavens, as his theme music plays, leaving the ring with a gesture of prayer and a wave to the audience.]

Anonymous

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO gWngb7g.jpg, 143KiB, 1284x1322

Anonymous Fri 10 May 2024 00:42:45 No.14587528 Report

Quoted By: >>14587626 >>14588436

>>14587293
Who was the Jennetty?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 May 2024 00:52:22 No.14587626 Report

Quoted By:

>>14587528
Anything that isn't Catholic or Eastern Orthodox.

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 May 2024 01:43:22 No.14588048 Report

Quoted By:

You guys realize that the Bible was written by an emperor 300 years after Jesus's death, was based more on old sumerian legends than on the real Jesus and real christian texts, and that believing in it is exactly like believing that Harry Potter exists, right?

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 May 2024 01:58:56 No.14588206 Report

Quoted By:

>>14587293
I never in my life thought I would link 4chan to the 700 Club, but here we are.
Full video: https://youtu.be/rJ7LAj9y5tg?si=dSkvE3thrZIMsCgw

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 May 2024 02:23:31 No.14588407 Report

Quoted By:

>>14587460
fucking masterpiece!

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 May 2024 02:29:07 No.14588436 Report

Quoted By:

>>14587528
KWAPB

Anonymous

Anonymous Fri 10 May 2024 03:04:05 No.14588679 Report

Quoted By:

>>14587460

we gotta replace brother with Father

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