What I would give to kidnap Hornswoggle and make his life a living hell. I would force him to dress up in elf and leprechaun outfits and subject him to pure awfulness and humiliation. Just terrible degradation and shameful acts. It would be so easy to break his spirit and drive him to suicide, but I wouldn't let him do it. If I could train a dog to rape on command then I would totally do that as well. A really big dog like a mastiff. He would be so completely and utterly powerless to stop it, not to mention terrified. A big ass dog is even scary and life-threatening to a normal human but to a midget? Might as well be a dragon. I'd keep him in a cell and what's more is that I would actually place the key inside with him but put it in a high place. Not extremely high but just ever so slightly out of reach. It would drive him mad. I would dress him like a baby and force feed him 99 cent store baby food. I'd also pick him up like a child and toss him from one corner to the next. I'd grab him by one leg and swing him as hard and as fast as I could then hurl him to see how far he goes. I'd rent one of those giant inflatable bounce houses and body slam him all day until my arms got tired. I'd hold him down with 1 hand and slowly stick things up his butt just to see him squirm. I would stick him in dryers and turn them on and leave him in there for long periods of time. I'd force him to fight other midgets to the death. Just so many things i would do.