Nibbling on fast food
Acting like a damn fool
All of these wrestlers are covered in oil
I'm strumming my johnson
I don't care if it's a sin
That K.O.'s B.O. is really starting to boil

Wasting away again in Markaritaville
Searching for all fake wrestling news
Some people say that it's my parents to blame
But I don't, it's my own damn fault

Markin' for Finny
Yeah, I'm dreaming he's with me
Hey, there goes Sami and he's driving a cab
Maryse can't wrestle
Huge boobs but can't wrestle
And F-you Roman for being so fab

Wasting away again in Markaritaville
We're longing for that fake wrestling news
Some people say that we are all so dumb
But we're not, we're simply awesome

I don't know the reason
I stayed here all season
Nothing to show but that my balls are blue
Nakamura's a beauty
A Japanese cutie
Outside his entrance, I haven't a clue

Wasting away again in Markaritaville
Searching for all fake wrestling news
Some people say that it's my parents to blame
But I don't, it's my own damn fault