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>The fire crackles as the children gasp in awe. Snow begins to fall outside the window as your tale comes to an end, but the youngsters are still thirsty for more. 'Tell us about the two he scored against Andorra again Grandpapa' one child begs. 'No, no! The legendary brace vs Kazakhstan!' implores another. The oldest boy pipes up: 'Be quiet you two, Grandad tells those ones all the time. Go on, tell us the one you promised us last time - the penalty vs Slovenia...Grandad..G-Grandad?' The rocking chair creaks to a halt. A serene expression is on your face and all of Rooney's goals flash before your eyes in your final moments as the children embrace you. His one World Cup goal, the legendary double in Minsk, that tap-in against Liechenstein. They know what's happening and are scared, but calm. The last thing you hear as you slide into the black warmth of death is the youngest boy - old beyond his years, a football fanatic who spends every free moment outside kicking his battered leather ball against the wall 'Dont be sad, he lived a hell of a life...in the age of Rooney.'
