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>be CM Punk
>already a top guy in WWE
>cuts pipebomb promo
>"I'm the voice of the voiceless"
>WWE puts world title on me for over a year
>still complains
>main events with Cena, Taker, Jericho
>mad he’s not the WrestleMania main event
>pissy because he passed over for The Rock
>walks out in 2014
>says WWE “made him sick”
>“I left wrestling in 2005”
>the place that made him rich and famous
>blames doctors, creative, Triple H, moon phase, Mercury retrograde
>goes on podcast and burns every bridge like it’s California wildfire season
>fans: “he’s a hero”
>decides to try MMA for some reason
>signs with UFC at age 36
>literally 0 amateur fights
>“I train with Duke Roufus bro, I’m serious about this”
>first fight vs Mickey Gall
>gets double-legged into the shadow realm in 10 seconds
>rear-naked choke before he even knows he’s in a fight
>0 significant strikes
>punching air like a toddler in a ball pit
>next fight vs Mike Jackson, literal journalist with gloves
>gets pieced up for 3 rounds
>Jackson mocking him mid-fight like it’s a sparring session
>still 0–2 but record gets turned to 0–1 (1 NC) because Jackson smoked a joint
>punkstilltraining.meme
>goes back to irrelevance for a few years
>already a top guy in WWE
>cuts pipebomb promo
>"I'm the voice of the voiceless"
>WWE puts world title on me for over a year
>still complains
>main events with Cena, Taker, Jericho
>mad he’s not the WrestleMania main event
>pissy because he passed over for The Rock
>walks out in 2014
>says WWE “made him sick”
>“I left wrestling in 2005”
>the place that made him rich and famous
>blames doctors, creative, Triple H, moon phase, Mercury retrograde
>goes on podcast and burns every bridge like it’s California wildfire season
>fans: “he’s a hero”
>decides to try MMA for some reason
>signs with UFC at age 36
>literally 0 amateur fights
>“I train with Duke Roufus bro, I’m serious about this”
>first fight vs Mickey Gall
>gets double-legged into the shadow realm in 10 seconds
>rear-naked choke before he even knows he’s in a fight
>0 significant strikes
>punching air like a toddler in a ball pit
>next fight vs Mike Jackson, literal journalist with gloves
>gets pieced up for 3 rounds
>Jackson mocking him mid-fight like it’s a sparring session
>still 0–2 but record gets turned to 0–1 (1 NC) because Jackson smoked a joint
>punkstilltraining.meme
>goes back to irrelevance for a few years
