ChatGPT
You said:
Write me a promo in the style of CM Punk about John Cena being a heel
ChatGPT said:
Sure! Here's a promo in the style of CM Punk—sarcastic, biting, brutally honest—cutting into the idea that John Cena is (and always has been) a heel, even if the fans didn’t realize it:
[CM Punk walks to the ring, sits cross-legged with a mic in hand. Crowd is buzzing.]
CM Punk:
You know, for years… YEARS… I’ve heard the same tired line:
"John Cena’s a hero."
"John Cena's a role model."
"John Cena fights for what's right."
Well, congratulations, folks. You’ve been played.
The jorts-wearing, hustle/loyalty/respect-preaching, empty catchphrase machine you've been cheering for?
He’s been a heel all along.
But not the fun kind. Not the cool kind. Not even the honest kind.
He’s the worst kind—
The smiling corporate puppet who pretends to be the good guy while stepping on anyone who might actually make this place better.
You know who decides who gets pushed around here? Cena.
You know who buries guys on the mic, then hugs them backstage like it’s all okay? Cena.
You know who parades around like a locker room leader, but makes sure no one ever gets close to his spot on the throne?
Yeah. You guessed it.
See, people boo me because I speak the truth.
They boo me because I don’t pander to kids, kiss babies, or sell rainbow-colored merch like it’s gospel.
But Cena?
He wraps his manipulation in red, white, and blue.
He sells you morality while playing backstage politics like it’s a contact sport.
He’s not Superman. He’s Lex Luthor in cargo shorts.
So don’t tell me he's finally turned heel.
He never turned. He was just better at hiding it than most.
And now the truth’s out.
You don’t like it?
You can boo. You can chant. You can wave your little towels.
But deep down?
You know I’m right.
Pipe bomb.
Let me know if you want this tailored to a specific storyline or feud—it could go even deeper.
