Inside me lurks an abyss, a primordial void where shadows whisper secrets older than time itself. A nocturnal beast, a draconic nightmare, a venomous toad of chaos poised to strike at all who oppose me. I summon this ancient demon from the depths—an emissary of the shadowed beyond—and you, mortal, cannot access its eldritch power. It murmurs to me in forgotten tongues, a blessing from the dark lord of the void, guiding me through the labyrinth of darkness.
This Sunday at /pw/mania, brought to you by Dortios®, you will become my sacrificial prey. I will drown you in the blackened ocean of my soul’s abyss, and you shall emerge forever altered, corrupted by the unseen horrors I wield. The pitch-black darkness will enshroud you, consuming every flicker of hope, as I become the devourer of all light—an eternal void incarnate.
I will feast upon your decaying essence with malevolent intent, a creature forged from shadow and despair so impenetrable that even the night recoils in terror. The esoteric darkness within me will seep into your very spirit, leaving nothing but an echo of darkness—a hollow shell lost to the void. The evil that has taken root within me has grown into a cosmic force, and this dark evil will swallow you whole, along with your Slim Jim® Heavyweight Championship.
You know not the depths of the darkness I harbor, nor the abyss I am prepared to unleash. You will taste its forbidden nectar, and no light—no salvation—can pierce this shroud of shadows. Soon, the dark beast within me will corrupt your soul, twisting you into a vessel of despair. The entire realm of /pw/ will bow beneath my shadowy dominion.
This Sunday, I will extinguish your feeble light, snuffing it out in the eternal night. And in the aftermath, only darkness remains—a silence filled with the whispers of the void. A demise. A final eclipse of your pitiful existence. A dark decree for you, /pw/, and the Slim Jim® Championship—an end written in the ink of shadows.
