Quoted By:
>I worked for Sauron. Yeah. Sauron. Big Eye. Tower Boy. ‘I see all, I know all, and I still can’t book a babyface to save my damn life.’
>Now look, I didn’t want the job OK? I was happy. I was doin’ talent relations out in Rohan. I had Eomer workin’ hard we were rebuilding the womens division with Eowyn. But no I get this Palantír call from fucking Barad-dur: 'Jim, we want you to help reorganize, bring some heat to Mordor, we’ve got too many jobbers and not enough main eventers. So I talk to Stacy, think it over, and I say yes.
>First day in the tower? Sauron’s not even there in person. No he’s a giant fucking flaming eyeball on a stick. And he won’t shut the fuck up, won’t fucking listen and learn. And he’s got the goddamn Nazgul as agents. I’m tryin’ to book a something with Gollum , it was money, and these Mordor assholes are like, 'What if we just sent 400,000 orcs to squash Gondor in one night?' LIKE THAT’S A STORY.
>And the locker room? Jesus fucking Christ. You ever try to have a creative meeting eating lunch with the Witch King? That guy walks in, black cloak, screamin’ in Black Speech, flings a sword into the catering table, and then says he’s not doing jobs to women. I said, ‘It’s fucking Eowyn, you jackass. The Sword Maiden of Rohan, idiot.’ And he’s like, 'NO MAN CAN DEFEAT ME!' And I look over at Shagrat who knows I'm about to strangle this fucking guy. Now folks, my knees are fucking shot like an Ent's and I move about as good as a Mordor Troll but I can whoop the Witch King of Angmar. OK? Meanwhile, smart ass - Sauron is sittin' there loving all this. Every meeting’s just fire and brimstone with this guy and ‘Why isn’t the Ring angle drawing?’ Well smartass, maybe because you fucking sent it off with two hobbits and no security detail, pal! That’s like giving the WWF title to Barry Horowitz and sending him through Newark with no car insurance! Goddamn fucking retard.
