Coming up on 9 months of sobriety in a couple of weeks, it's the longest amount of time I've had being sober in years, but, mentally, I'm not doing so great. I don't have the urge to drink/use or anything like that but I'm feeling like I'm stuck in this cycle of impending doom and existential dread. I'm usually pretty good at "putting on a happy face" when I'm at meetings or in a social setting but when I go to bed at night, I'm usually kind of miserable. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to be sober and I'm working a pretty strong program but going through the motions have been catching up with me lately. Anyway, I don't intend on picking up a drink (anytime soon, anyway) but part of me just wants to escape this endless cycle without risking the possibility of justifying messing up my sobriety.
